Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The Small Print to Wedding Vows - Beware!

I was thinking about the traditional wedding vows today as I was loading and unloading the dishwasher. At first I thought that they needed to be revamped to properly reflect my husband and my relationship, but then I realized that they really said all that they needed. It was just that I did not read the fine print underneath.

I, Dawn, take you, George, to be my husband,
To have and to hold
–to be touched by you and all future children at all times and at any time no matter how I feel about it; regardless of the fact that we will have two children within 22 months that will suckle endlessly from the same breasts that you will want to tend to as part of your marital privilege later.
For better or for worse –Despite losing jobs, losing our health insurance, and losing my mind in the day to day grind of life.
For richer, for poorer – And poorer and poorer and poorer, when we choose to add kids into the mix.
In sickness and in health – I will make sure that I still take care of the kids, do the laundry, and make dinner.
To love and to cherish – despite your disgusting habits that you are now passing onto our children.
From this day forward until death do us part – Who knew death would look so appealing? Is that really an option?

Of course, I guess my husband’s would be:

I, George, take you, Dawn, to be my wife,
To have and to hold my tongue even if I disagree with you.
For better or for worse dressed and I’ll revert to the “have and hold my tongue” when it is worse.
For richer, for poorer when as the college educated one, you choose to stay home with the children.
In sickness and in health, I will go to work to earn the money for our family
To love and to cherish and never speak of my frustrations to anyone, especially my mother.
From this day forward until death do us part which isn’t too far away if I keep working so hard.

Who knew these words could have so much meaning? The romance of getting married is like icing on the cake, living together day in and day out, surviving the trials and tribulations is the actual cake itself. It is the structure and the support. It is what makes the romance beautiful and worthwhile. It is the substance of the cake that makes the frosting so sweet.

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