Gingerbread Houses: A Tradition Not to Let Slip

This week we continued a family tradition that we started when the kids were very young. Actually, I am unfairly taking credit for this. This is a tradition my husband brought to our family. We buy a basic gingerbread house kit (I suppose we could take this to the next level and make our own gingerbread, but the point of this is a holiday memory not holiday stress) and some extra decorations (i.e. shredded wheat, Necco candy, gum drops). Depending on the kit, we may make additional “frosting” with confectioner’s sugar and water. We also find it helpful to have a few canned goods to hold the house in place while the frosting dries. And then one night, we pull everything out and go at it. In our family, usually that means the kids and Dad do it. But this year, we brought the kit to visit our foster son. Z has been moved to residential living due to his needs, but we continue to see him and love him. This was an excellent project for all of us. Although clearly our children are getting a little older because this year’s house was resplendent with the traditional gingerbread men, gumdrops, and icing icicles but it also had a peppermint stick cannon, a gumdrop dragon, and a gumdrop alligator.

This tradition has offered me one of my all time “perfect” memories. Several years ago, the kids and my husband were making a house at the table and I was making Chex Mix in the kitchen. Christmas carols were playing in the background and the lights from the tree were twinkling. I remember pulling the Chex Mix from the stove and turning to put it on the counter. As I turned, I was filled with the feeling that this was it. This is what life is all about: perfect, simple, joyful.

I remember making gingerbread men myself as a child. I remember those little silver ball cake decorations that now sport a warning, “Do NOT consume. For decorative purposes only”. And I still like to decorate gingerbread men if I have a large group of children, but gingerbread houses are the perfect holiday family activity.

Holiday memories are not made by the gifts we receive but by the time we spend together.

TEST: I challenge you to remember 10 gifts you received over the course of your life. Now try to think of 10 Christmas memories. Which list was easier to make?

One of my kids' memories might be: the year their mother cut a snowflake out of a papertowel.

Cons of Community Service

How you are raised can change your perception on life. I'm sure this statement doesn't surprise you, but I was surprised to see how pervasive it was the other day when the boys were discussing working with their Boy Scout troop to clean up garbage along the road. My biological son, who has been raised with a strong sense of community involvement, was excited to work on this project. He finds most things with the Boy Scouts fun and is fairly environmentally aware. My foster son, who has been bounced from house to house primarily in the city, thought the idea of getting together to pick up garbage to be the stupidest idea he had ever heard. He immediately associated it with being in trouble. You are only forced to clean up an area when a court mandates it. Fortunately, he relented, went, and had a grand time; but, his comments stuck. If he relates helping with court and consequences, who else does.

My family and I have always enjoyed helping others. We find that we receive far more than we give and I must admit, that we feel powerful when we do help. It is amazing how much one person can accomplish. So to think of community service as a negative was shocking to me, but certainly an interesting commentary on our society. I would be interested to see if others from his background feel the same. Certainly, the courts purpose is assigning community service is to repay what the guilty party took from society and also for them to see that their actions can have a positive impact. Perhaps though, what we are teaching is that community service is boring, troublesome, and something that it is to be left to people who misbehave. Hmmm! I don't think this is setting up a very positive association and may set the stage for complacency and future community inaction. I'm not sure what we should use as punishment for those who break the law and are being charged with community service, but maybe we better take a minute to discuss the message that we are sending when we do so.

RAD

No one told me that I’d be sitting in closets or standing on my head

If you were to describe the day to day “job” of being a foster parent, I doubt that you would include “ability to sit in a closet crosslegged” nor “flexibility and strength necessary to do a handstand” and yet in my day to day activities of being a foster mom, I have done both. You are thinking, this woman is a little crazy. She must not know how to be a good foster parent. I wouldn’t need to employ such craziness. But I must tell you that I think it is just this foolishness that allows us to get through everyday. My DS2 has many labels attached to him as a result of the abuse and neglect that he has experienced. One of the labels that he carries represents his distrust of adults, his need for control, and his general defiance. Of course, I ask you after 14 homes, how would you feel? Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) can be very frustrating to deal with, but we have found humor to be a rather effective tool. If I come back at him in an authoritarian fashion, I can pretty much guarantee you a disaster, but if we can laugh, we can usually make some progress. So I’m thinking that instead of having RAD stand for Reactive Attachment Disorder, perhaps we can have it stand for Radical Alternative Displays of Affection. Ok, so I added an extra “A”, but you get the point.

The two specific situations that I mention are just that two of many. I am not recommending specific actions, but just that we think a little outside the box and as traumatically that previous adults have treated our children, lets dramatically show them that we will go to any length for them.

The closet situation evolved when DS2 misbehaved and went to his room for a cool down period. I gave him 5-10 minutes to relax and refocus, but when I went to talk to him at first I could not find him. His room was empty, but I knew he was there. I quickly located him sitting on the floor in his bedroom closet. I will not psychoanalyze to decide if he was there for the comfort of a confined space or if it was a form of control to watch me squirm looking for him; regardless, there he was. When we started to talk, he was as defiant as ever – negating everything I had to say. Then I switched gears and made a comment about getting in the closet. His frown suddenly became a questioning smile, “You wouldn’t come in here. You can’t fit in here.”

“I’ll bet you I can.”

He looked questioningly at me.

“Make room.” It was as if as I got in the closet, all the tension left the room. After he stopped being shocked that I was in the closet with him, we were able to talk about the issue that had landed us in the closet.

The headstand was a visual representation of our ability to choose. DS2 woke up one morning and as I tried to coax him out of bed, he said, “Today is going to be a terrible day anyway.”

Visions of being called by the principal at 9:10 jumped into my head. Some days were difficult enough without him heading in to them in a bad mood. “Remember,” I said. “Our mood is our choice. You can decide to have a bad day or you can decide that you are going to change your mood and have a good day.”

“It’s just a bad day. I’m going to have a bad day.”

I took a breath (a very helpful thing these days), “Come on get up. Shake it out. Do a dance or stand on your head. Do whatever it takes to change your mood.”

“What was the last thing you said?”

“Stand on your head”

“How is standing on your head going to change your mood?”

“Watch!” I promptly got a pillow and stood on my head, lifting my legs up and against the wall.

“That doesn’t count. Your feet are against the wall.” He marveled, but challenged.

I wondered if I could do that. I hadn’t achieved that in many, many years. I tightened my abs, prayed my shirt wasn’t going to go over my head, and pulled my legs from the wall. “Ta da” I got back to my feet. “See it worked,” I winked. “You are smiling.”

I never did get a call from the principal that day and DS2 seemed to have a relatively good day.

Now you may say that these actions are extreme, but I say what has happened to him is extreme and he desearves to know that there are adults that will go to any length to let him know that he is safe and loved. RAD - - - Radical Alternative Displays (of Affection). Instead of getting caught up in their RAD, lets use our RAD.

I would love to hear stories of how others have used crazy ways to get past the frustration of defiant, angry children.

My son is an evil genius

So one the issues that I have with DS2 is his determined obstinance. He wants control of all parts of his life even if the control hurts him in the long run. But I must say that today's example of this control was genius and glaringly shows where public school, and frankly adults in general, sometimes mis-fire in their plans to control kids' behaviors.

So once again we headed to school. Once again, he didn't grab a coat. He did have a fleece pullover but no jacket. I expressed my continued frustration about this to which he responded, "Don't worry. I have it all worked out. I don't have to go out for recess."

I thought for a moment not sure how to respond. I could tell that there was more to this story.

"The cover to my Social Studies book cover is ripped and so I don't have to go outside until it is repaired. I have it all worked out."

Hmmmm! I guess the school got him ; ) Can't do what he doesn't want to do until he fixes what he distroyed. I'm thinking that it will be fixed just about when the first tulip peeks through the ground.

I couldn't help but chuckle. He is an expert in using our own logical powers against us. I did go on to talk about how his master plan may backfire, but he doesn't yet have the forethought to see the downside. He did agree to bring the book home to be recovered, but I'm not sure how long that will last.

If you use the Dr. Phil phrase, "How did this behavior work for you?" I think the answer would be "very well" which I don't think is exactly what the school was going for when they imposed this rule.

I love you / I hate you

The best advice that I have had as a foster parent of a child with RAD is "don't take it personally". At first I thought this was just bunk and was frustrated by the simplistic answer and yet now I run this phrase through my head daily. Our days can go from so much fun and laughter to silly conversations where he claims he doesn't care about anything.

The other day, we saw a commercial for Anthony Hopkins Wolfman movie. He thought it looked fantastic and thought we should all go see it. While I would agree that like all of Anthony Hopkins work it looks like a great movie, I don't think it looks appropriate for an 11 year old. So I said that this would not be on our viewing schedule to which he responded, "I will be seeing it."

"DS2, do we have to go through it again? The movie is R rated. We are not going to see R rated movies. (as you can tell this has been a common point of conversation)"

"Well, I will be seeing it. I didn't say that I would see it with you." He glared at me. "I get to choose my families and I will just choose a family who will let me."

I knew he didn't really mean it, but it surely doesn't make the words hurt any less. My biological kids sat there stunned. I took a breathe and replied, "You are right. You get to choose your families, but I hope that you wouldn't make the choice over something as silly as a movie. You may get to choose your families, but I have an obligation to be the best mother possible for you and I don't think an R rated movie that looks that scary is appropriate for an 11 year old."

He rolled his eyes.

These little power struggles can take such a toll on your psyche. I know that RAD makes it hard for him to attach to others, but hurtful words like that make it hard for the rest of us to attach. We think we are going along fine and becoming a family and then he expresses that none of it matters to him. It can be so frustrating and it is then that I hear that echo, "Don't take it personally."

Wondering about the Foster Care System

My DS2 has been bringing the most interesting things to my attention. I think so many of us think that foster care moves children from difficult home situations to more stable situations that allow them to heal and move on. My DS2 has had more placements than most children and thus has seen more than perhaps the average child. He was placed with the state when he was only months old and then adopted for a few years before he was 10, but that too was also disrupted. But as he opens up and shares his past, he knows things that I would not expect a child of his age to know and doesn't know things that he should.

He doesn't know what the small intestine are, but can shoot with a pool stick behind his back.

He doesn't know who Joe Biden, the vice president of the United States, is, but can name the major games of the city he was last placed in.

He didn't know that Hawaii was created by volcanoes, but he knows what a quarter slot is.

All these little tidbits were picked up not in the abusive homes but in foster care. What does this say about our foster care system? These children who are already fragile because of the horrors they have been through aren't treated like the precious gems of our society, but instead are put in homes that are questionable on their own. Why do you think so many families which have better circumstances don't consider foster care? How do you think we can fix this? If families from lesser circumstances wish to foster, how do we support them so that things like "jacking" bikes are not a part of these children's lives?

We as a society will pay later if we don't pay now and the cost will be much, much higher. DS2 cannot even visualize a future for himself and yet he knows what it means to be recruited by a gang. I can see and I continue to pray that his eyes are opened to a more productive future each day that we spend together. I hope that he begins to see how his actions affect not just him but all of society, but I wonder about the children that are now placed in the homes which he has left. Are they experiencing the same learning that he did? Do you have the power to change this? Would you be willing to step out of your comfort to make a change? Speak out for those that have no voice and don't even realize they need one. Consider being a foster parent yourself or a mentor. Perhaps you can be a CASA representative. Perhaps you could support someone else in being a foster parent. As the PSA says, "you don't have to be perfect, to make a change in a child's life."

Is Swearing a Problem?

Hint to stop a swearing problem: We have been facing a swearing problem with the newest member of our family. While in is relatively minor, it is definitively a problem. He has gotten in trouble at school for it, at sports activities, and at home. There is certainly no filter of what may be ok with one of the boys and how you speak to an adult. And he is very frustrated that we think swearing is a problem. He often wants to bait us into debating the rudeness of specific words. So the new phrase that has entered our home is “word choice – what would be a better word choice?” While at first he rolled his eyes, the rest of the family has really gotten into this and has started coming up with funny alternatives. For example, instead of the adding an expletive the end of a sentence, one could add “Oh, peanut butter and jelly”. We have also revived old phrases like “Oh, Jiminy”, “Gosh”, and “Goodness gracious”. Of course, we have also learned that it is not so much the words that you use, but how you use the words that really make something a swear.

Modeling Behavior

Some where I read a quote about, “be aware of the eyes are upon you.” It had to do with children watching everything that we do from how friendly we are to how we deal with stress. We can tell them what to do, demand that they do or do not do something, but our loudest words come from our actions. Although the exact quote eludes me, its basic premise sits on my heart, especially since we have added a foster child to the mix. Unfortunately, in his little life far too many people have given him bad examples so it is even more important that we do well. Interestingly, our biological children have not escaped from this requirement either. DS2 looks even more keenly on their behavior than ours. I had to remind DD this the other day when she was misbehaving a bit. I was clear about the behavior that I expected, but then I added, “Don’t forget you are a model.”


She responded that she wasn’t a model and looked genuinely confused by my comment. I let her know that as the eldest sister in the house, she was a model always now. Little eyes were watching. I could tell by her eyes that she took this comment to heart.


How do I know that my little girl is becoming a woman? By not only her acknowledgement of this duty, but the fact that she has taken it seriously and changed her behavior to be a better model.


I must tell you that this experience of foster parenting has strengthened my belief in my own parenting and my pride in my own children. They have been amazingly patient, truly kind, very responsible, and a great support to DH and I. We are not foster parents, but a foster family.

Escaping the Time and Space

Does it seem that I have disappeared? Fallen off the planet? To some degree I have. I have been trying to make sure that I post at least once a week (originally, I was working on once a day). Becoming a foster parent has taken up far more of my energy or time than I have ever anticipated. This is not necessarily a bad thing, just a reality. As we are intensive foster parents, the needs of our new child have been eating into our time in unforeseen ways and truthfully completely out of his control too. Because of his needs there are multiple appointments a week which are compounded by the requirements assigned by the state for his oversight. I know that there is a part of me that wants to yell, “Give us a break!” I can only imagine how he feels. Everyday, someone else is in the house asking him more questions. I understand their need for oversight, but maybe they could do it while assisting with his homework, watching one of his basketball games, or helping us get dinner together. Frankly, these day to day activities would probably speak more to how life is going than their intrusive sit down visits. I must say that all the people are quite pleasant (thank goodness) and truly have DS2’s best interests at heart, but this system seems to really bog down real life. Some days he can’t even get his homework done before basketball due to their visits. Once we ended up eating hot dogs because I didn’t get the chicken in the oven properly and had to leave DD overseeing it. It also seems that so many of these visits are redundant. Couldn’t one Social worker report to the other two instead of each of them having their different responsibilities and assessments? I hoping this will slow down over time, but we’ll see. I surely welcome any helpful suggestions from anyone else that has had to deal with this issue.

Some of the time constraints are of my own doing as we opted to maintain his therapist and other mental care in a city which is 45 minutes away, but I felt the poor child had had enough transition without taking away more people that he had built relationships with. I do find it funny though that people who chose to work with children only seem to be available during the day. Doesn’t it seem odd that we would want to take a child who is already struggling at school and make it basically mandatory to take him out of school in order to get proper mental and physical care?


Funny homeschooling moment related to this: Although DS2 is in public school, I am still homeschooling our other two children and among all these crazy time constraints, I am trying desperately to stay on top of their studies. The other day when we were waiting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, DS1 and I ended up having an impromptu art appreciation lesson. As any homeschooler can attest, the best curriculum plan is to use what is around you.

Cultural Knowledge

As a homeschooling parent, I have had pause to think about what makes someone educated.I have often wondered how I can compare my children’s knowledge with public schoolers.Unfortunately, sometimes the knowledge base is so different it is impossible to compare.Now with DS2 who has been in and out of the foster system for his entire 11 year life, I am thinking of cultural knowledge in an entirely different way.DS2 is a very smart boy.He tests as average, above average, or superior on all cognitive testing, but his cultural knowledge is almost a zero.This assessment is not an official test, but just a general review of his ability to discuss current events, geography, history, etc. As such, his understanding of the world around him is inhibited. He has no understanding of voting or political parties.He doesn’t understand that other people in the world live very differently than we do.He has no interest in learning / knowing about creatures and cultures that have come before us.He is satisfied with junk food mindless tv and rap music.He will comply with learning in school, but sees no correlation to what he is learning and his life.He has no goals for his future. I think that his life has been so set on survival, interest and knowledge seeking has had no place in his life. It is like a microcosmic Dark Age. He is finding our home to be so strange. He finds the unique knowledge that my kids have to be fascinating. He is somewhat troubled that his cartoon crammed days are now limited, but we are starting to see a little change in the way he thinks. It is like watching someone light a fire. We are hitting the flint with steel and creating a spark, now we just have to see if the flame can ignite the kindling and support a fire that will burn for the rest of his life.

While I work on this issue on an individual basis, I think that it is imperative that we look at this issue on a more global basis. What will a child like this become without a nurturing home? What will the affect be on society? What is the later cost vs the costs we may expend earlier on? How do you encourage cultural knowledge when a child can’t rely on their most basic needs being met? What does it say about a country that cannot properly care for those that most need its care? How can we improve the system? How can we prevent another child from being so starved?

Homeschooling vs. Public School

Never in my life have the benefits of homeschooling been so clear to me. Unfortunately, due to many state rules and regulations, we cannot homeschool our foster son, DS2. So I am back straddling two worlds: our two biological children are homeschooled, DS2 is in public school. It is as if someone has sucked the air right out of my lungs. The schedule alone is enough to overwhelm someone. On the positive side, they did read and respond to the studies about students needing more sleep and school therefore doesn't start until 9:00; but a schedule is a schedule and it seems like the day is gone by the time he gets home at 3:45 with homework to do. I don't have to worry about too much tv on his part because who has time to watch it. Also, I have seriously questioned the schools connection to the world around them, when DS2 knows nothing of the historic election next Tuesday to fill Ted Kennedy's senate seat. "Ted who?" was the response I received. I forgot how disconnected some public schools can be from the world arround them.

I must say that the school has been very accommodating to DS2's issues and I appreciate that they have been working to strengthen the home / school connection, but I still feel very disconnected. Especially with a child with so many issues, it would be helpful to have a mother hen overlooking him more. I can understand the state's desire to use the public school: to maintain their own system, to maintain consistency in case of another move, to provide another set of eyes to ensure the safety of the child; but with so many other "eyes" available (therapists, social workers, court appointed observers) and other ways to asses progress, you would think that perhaps there would be ways around this rule. Although I do appreciate the break right now to regroup myself and have time with my two biological kids, I think if any children were to benefit from homeschooling it would be DS2 and the many other foster children in the system who would thrive in a 1 on 1 (or 2 or 3) setting.

On the positive side, this foray back into public schooling has reminded my children, my husband, and myself what we have to be thankful for.

The Importance of Mom

It is interesting a new insight that DS2 has brought to me. Each night before he goes to bed we pray. Each night I ask him what he would like to include in his prayers. Each night he is very adamant that my health be part of the prayers. Sometimes as a mom, we forget how important we are in a family. We make sure that everyone else is healthy, fed, and cared for and often we skip over ourselves in this process. What mother, when there is only one something, doesn't give it to their child? What mother doesn't walk around with her own illness as she cares for the little ones? What mother doesn't put her needs aside to fulfil the needs of the others in her family? Maybe DS2 has reminded us all that we should rethink this strategy.

It is so easy to think of others when we are a mom, but DS2 reminds us that without us there is no family. His request of God is a somewhat selfish (but very appreciated one). He wants me to stay healthy so that he can finally have a Mom.

As you care take everyone else in your family this year, remember this prayer and take a few extra minutes to care for yourself so that you will always be there to answer their prayers.

How to approach difficult situations with a foster child

You would have laughed at me this morning watching me run for the car. I leaped out the door and down the steps. You would have thought I was an Olympic hurdeler. Why you ask? We have found that DS2 can be very slow to do things. This is his way to control the situation. It is not outright defiance but a form of passive defiance. I can decide when and how I do something if a slow down enough: You can't make me do it. These are the messages that are sent with the behavior without any words being spoken. So this morning DH turned it into a race about who could get in the car first. DS2 won the race. He was dressed, ready, in the car, and had his seatbelt on properly as I propelled myself out the door. I was happy to announce that he won the race, which of course delighted him and we were on time to school which delighted me. All and all a win / win situation.

We have found in general that the calmer we can be and the more laughter and game-like atmosphere that we can interject into a situation the easier the day goes. . . Mind you we are very early in the fostering process, so I wouldn't just take my word for it, but this was great advice that we got from other more experienced foster parents and it has been working well for us as well. I just hope that we continue along this path and don't find out that we are just in a honeymoon period.

Honeymoon period - a period of time usually at the beginning of a placement when a foster child attempts to behave "very well". A period of time that is not reflective of the child's true behaviors and attitudes that soon come seeping out and the honeymoon ends.

Time is still Ellusive and other things I have learned in our first week of foster parenting

First of all, this is actually moving into our second week as foster parents which goes to prove that time is elusive. Some how time is slipping through my fingers. We are intensive foster parents which means that DS2 came to us with "issues" and thus far each appointment that we have been to has spawned off at least one if not two new appointments. We have gotten him back to school and continued his involvement in basketball, while trying not to give our biological children a raw deal. This has certainly meant a little fancy dancing, a lot of driving, and the cancellation of some of DH and my scheduled activities. Somehow though, we are making it work.

Some of the lessons that I have learned over the last week are:

• Life would not be the same without DH.
• Laughter can dispel even the worst temper.
• A smile is contagious.
• The answer to WWJD is help a child.
• When two things battle for the same time slot on your calendar it is not a conflict but a matter of prioritization.
• Wording matters.
• DD and DS1 have been delightful children and DH and I are very lucky people.
• God's plans for your lives are bigger and brighter than anything you could have ever thought of.
• Dishes can wait.
• 2 kids + 1 kid = way less time, way more laundry & more dishes, and way, way more groceries.
• That being loved consistently without reservation is a right that all children deserve.
• When you are frustrated, take a breathe.
• I need a way bigger calendar!
• Being a mom is the most important job in the world.

and to steal a phrase from one of my favorite childhood songs:

"love is something if you give it away, you'll end up having more."

Becoming a Foster Parent

I know it has been almost a week - maybe even a week, but I think you will forgive me as this week we have added an extra child. We picked up our newest addition last Monday and I've barely sat down once. You would think one extra child would not make that much of a difference but it has. First of all when a new placement comes to your house there are responsibilities that you have regarding doctors appointments and such. In this case, each one seems to lead to another one. Plus, I believe that I have explained that we are not just doing traditional foster parenting but intensive foster care, where the children have additional issues. Some have been abused or neglected, some have additional medical needs, some have diagnosis like RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) or ADHD. I think the transition has gone as well as can be expected both for DS2, but also for our biological children. We have tried to have fun while also getting through the appointments necessary. Tomorrow, we have to battle with the schools. Due to this move, we live outside of the district that he is currently being schooled in, but since he has had so many traumatic transitions and he is currently successful in school, I am hoping to maintain this school. Please wish me luck. I am hoping with the promise of transportation the school will allow him this small bit of consistency. So needless to say, while things may be a little crazy for a bit, I think you will find that my posts have a whole new component to them. We are no longer a family of four but of five: a mom, a dad, two homeschooled-biological child, and one public schooled foster child. Plus, we can't leave out the dog and the cat.

Here is a prime example of our new mixed up life, DH and I will be celebrating our 18th wedding anniversary tomorrow, but between getting DS2 set up back at school, a therapist visit, basketball practice, and a book club, I don't think we are going to have a whole lot of celebrating time. So tonight, DH took me to the restaurant that we had our rehearsal dinner in 18 years ago today.

Of course who is taking the picture but the kids, who are happily eating their meal on the other side of the isle trying to be inconspicuous.

And Unto You A Child is Born

This Christmas is bringing us even more to celebrate than ever. This year, while celebrating the birth of the Christ child, our family is also celebrating the birth of a child in need. As I mentioned, we have been certified as a foster family this week. Well, we also had our first official training and a meeting to discuss a possible placement. I worried that our words did not reach the ears and the hearts it needed to, but at 2:30 on Christmas Eve we got our call and on Monday we will be getting our first placement.

The excitement I am feeling is coupled with so many fears: What if we are not enough? What if I can't remain calm? What if we do something stupid to this child who is already so delicate? How do I best keep everything in balance for this child, for our current children, for my husband, and for myself?

But the biggest question that echoes in my heart is how as a society can we continue to let these children down?

This new coming year will certainly be a year of new things for us; This new child certainly being the largest. As you contemplate your new year, might there be a place for another child in need. Jesus was born in the manager, wrapped only in swaddling cloth. As he grew, he talked to us about helping the least, the lost, and lonely and he encouraged us to help. Can you hear his call?




How can you answer? I pray that you have had a wonderful Christmas and that in this new year you will think about how you will make next Christmas wonderful for a child who was hurt and lonely this year.

A Christmas Miracle

We are official now. We are officially a foster family. We received our letter yesterday, the same day that we had our meeting for our first possible placement. For now we just have to wait as "the system" does its job, but we are definately on the right track.

It is interesting that a friend recently made a comment that you know you are doing what you should when it brings tears to your eyes. As I sat at the table with all the associated social workers, telling them why we would be a good family for this child, and hearing all about his issues, I found myself tearing up. I was able to control the tears, but I had to stop to take a breath before the reality of this child's life overwhelmed me. So based on my friend's philosophy, we are doing what we should be. I just wish things would come together faster for both him and us.

So, I am asking you all again for a prayer. A prayer this holiday, as we sit with our family around us, that all the children in the world can feel God's love and that one by one each of these needy children will find a home and people that love them. Amen