A Solution to Crime

I came by this during my reading of "Habits of the Heart" for one of seminary classes.  I thought that it raised a very good idea.  It certainly is not actually the solution to all crime, but perhaps some . . .

John "Winthrop saw justice as a matter more of substance than of procedure.  . . when it was reported to him during an expecially long and hard winter that a poor man in his neighborhood was stealing from his woodpile, Winthrop called the man into his prescence and told him that because of the severity of the winter and his need, he had permission to supply himself from Winthrop's woodpile for the rest of the cold season.  Thus, he said to his friends, die he effectively cure the man from stealing."

I thought that this was a wonderfully inspirational story and leads me to think about how I might embody the same idea.  I don't have anyone stealing from my woodpile, but what could I do to lighten someone else's load?  What could you do.

Tornadoes in Massachusetts

There are many things that you think about when you choose where to live.  Certainly there are considerations about jobs, family, education, etc, but often there is part of you that is searching for safety.  When you live in the northeast, you figure that you are fairly safe: major hurricanes only come by every ten years or so, earthquakes are generally minor, forest fires are usually contained, and tornadoes are usually small and rarely affect the population.  We do have winter storms, but they eventually melt.  All and all comparatively, it seems to be a fairly safe place to be until June 1st of this year, when a tornado swept through Western Massachusetts extending from Westfield to Charlton (almost 50 miles).  It was like the tornadoes that you see on the news in the Midwest except the Midwest doesn't have trees like we do.  The devastation was extreme.

Fortunately, this is not my home.  We were very lucky, but the area near our church not so much.  The impact was unbelievable in width, length, and general impact.  Trees look like toothpicks sticking from the ground.  Areas that couldn't see the sky due to a canopy of trees are now bathed in sunlight and blanketed in the night sky.  Houses are covered in blue tarps, split in half, or town completely from their foundations. The cleanup will not be measured in days but more likely months and probably years.

The one amazing portion that I have been blessed to witness is the coming together of a community to help those in need.  I have worked all of last month at the tornado aide center.  The outpouring of support not just from locals but from those that came miles and miles just to help has been incredible.  One night, one of the people asked, "Do you make all this food?  It is delicious."  While I may have wanted to take credit, I was able to say that no, all the food was donated.  We had not had to make anything.

When people wonder if there are still good people on this earth, I know without a doubt that the answer to this question is a resounding, "Yes."  It is a shame sometimes that it takes devastating emergencies to bring us all together, but you can surely know that in a time of need, we can and will come together.  This is one of the great things about people in general and specifically about the USA.  As different as we all are, we truly are all United.

God Bless the USA!  Happy Independence Day!

Kim Kardashian Tweets about Teen Mom 2

Ok, I have to make an admission.  It is neither that I occasionally watch Keeping up with the Kardashians, nor is it that I have watched MTV's Teen Mom.  The admission is that when my husband travels, I don't sleep.  So this past weekend was very, very long and apparently one night I fell asleep to E! (not my normal channel to watch but it is tough to find something to watch the later it gets) and woke up to E!News.  The big "news" (I use that word carefully) was that Kim K tweeted "It seems that shows like Teen Mom are all of a sudden making teen pregnancy seem cool in the eyes of young girls...but girls, these are not people you should idolize!' Now that statement woke me up.

Having a daughter who is 15, I have seen both the Kardashians and Teen Mom.  Now I must say that I was apprehensive about Teen Mom the first time I watched it, but I was pleasantly surprised by the honesty of the show.  Pregnancy was by no means glamorized.  The show portrayed the good and the bad of being pregnant young.  Frankly, any glamorizing of the situation or admiring of the moms is occurring outside of the MTV show in the tabloids and other print media.  In contrast, Keeping up with the Kardashians and the other Kardashian shows are horrible.  In general, they promote excess: excess in spending, excess in drinking, excess in permissive behavior, excess in attitude.  While I appreciate that they try and support one another as a family and that we all have faults,  I think that one should maybe be self reflective before commenting about other shows.  And if truly Kim is concerned about how tv affects our youth and their morals then perhaps she should get more involved in the development of her own family's show.

Movies that make you cry

It seems impossible when your kids are little that you will ever sit home without a single child calling your name, but it indeed will happen one day.  For me, that day is today.  The house is quiet and I'm curled up with just the animals, my computer, and a stack of movies.

I just finished Love Comes Softly and an entire box of tissues.  What a beautiful, simple love story.  Filmed by Michael Landon, Jr., I could almost imagine his father, Michael Landon, sitting in the wagon instead of Dale Midkiff.





I so enjoy movies like this: no blood and guts, no bare butts or breasts, no foul language.  I'm not a prude, but I'm sick of movies these days that I have to cover my 15 year old daughter's eyes or movies that bring even more evil into a world that has enough horrors of its own.  I appreciate movies that show love, compassion, and positive morals.  Even more, as a Christian, I appreciate the characters quietly espousing Christain values and tenants.  I look forward to even more movies like this one.  I think there is actually a large number of people looking for entertainment just like this.

Homeschooling Home Economics

As the kids are getting older homeschooling is morphing. While we still have our core curriculum, their interests and desires mold our learning schedule to a much greater degree. This week we were very lucky that DD's desires including cooking. I almost think that I have taught her too well and so when she hears the wants and desires of someone, she tries to fulfill them. This week that meant cupcakes and a pumpkin pie and next month, Irish soda bread. One friend of hers from the library complained that her birthday had been kind of pushed aside and forgotten; thus, the cupcakes. Then at our libraries auction, the director lost the raffle for the pumpkin pie that was offered, so DD had to offer to make her one (homemade crust and everything). Of course if you make a pie for someone else, there is an unwritten rule that you must make one for the family. The kids instituted this rule when I made pies for the church dinners. This was the first time I got to be the recipient of the rule.

Watching her cook and successfully complete these yummy items really made me feel confident about her future. I know it sounds silly in this day and age, but being able to cook and have some wifely skills is a good thing (even if she chooses never to be a wife, she will appreciate these skills herself). There are a lot of useless things I learned in school: facts, figures, and formulas that I will never ever use again in my life, but homemaking skills I use everyday and am thankful to those that taught me. Sometimes we can get so politically correct in this country we loose some important information along the way.

I have heard from the director who says I should give her an "A" for the pie. And please don't tell DD about the facts and figures part. She tries to get out of math work as it is.

Cons of Community Service

How you are raised can change your perception on life. I'm sure this statement doesn't surprise you, but I was surprised to see how pervasive it was the other day when the boys were discussing working with their Boy Scout troop to clean up garbage along the road. My biological son, who has been raised with a strong sense of community involvement, was excited to work on this project. He finds most things with the Boy Scouts fun and is fairly environmentally aware. My foster son, who has been bounced from house to house primarily in the city, thought the idea of getting together to pick up garbage to be the stupidest idea he had ever heard. He immediately associated it with being in trouble. You are only forced to clean up an area when a court mandates it. Fortunately, he relented, went, and had a grand time; but, his comments stuck. If he relates helping with court and consequences, who else does.

My family and I have always enjoyed helping others. We find that we receive far more than we give and I must admit, that we feel powerful when we do help. It is amazing how much one person can accomplish. So to think of community service as a negative was shocking to me, but certainly an interesting commentary on our society. I would be interested to see if others from his background feel the same. Certainly, the courts purpose is assigning community service is to repay what the guilty party took from society and also for them to see that their actions can have a positive impact. Perhaps though, what we are teaching is that community service is boring, troublesome, and something that it is to be left to people who misbehave. Hmmm! I don't think this is setting up a very positive association and may set the stage for complacency and future community inaction. I'm not sure what we should use as punishment for those who break the law and are being charged with community service, but maybe we better take a minute to discuss the message that we are sending when we do so.

Wondering about the Foster Care System

My DS2 has been bringing the most interesting things to my attention. I think so many of us think that foster care moves children from difficult home situations to more stable situations that allow them to heal and move on. My DS2 has had more placements than most children and thus has seen more than perhaps the average child. He was placed with the state when he was only months old and then adopted for a few years before he was 10, but that too was also disrupted. But as he opens up and shares his past, he knows things that I would not expect a child of his age to know and doesn't know things that he should.

He doesn't know what the small intestine are, but can shoot with a pool stick behind his back.

He doesn't know who Joe Biden, the vice president of the United States, is, but can name the major games of the city he was last placed in.

He didn't know that Hawaii was created by volcanoes, but he knows what a quarter slot is.

All these little tidbits were picked up not in the abusive homes but in foster care. What does this say about our foster care system? These children who are already fragile because of the horrors they have been through aren't treated like the precious gems of our society, but instead are put in homes that are questionable on their own. Why do you think so many families which have better circumstances don't consider foster care? How do you think we can fix this? If families from lesser circumstances wish to foster, how do we support them so that things like "jacking" bikes are not a part of these children's lives?

We as a society will pay later if we don't pay now and the cost will be much, much higher. DS2 cannot even visualize a future for himself and yet he knows what it means to be recruited by a gang. I can see and I continue to pray that his eyes are opened to a more productive future each day that we spend together. I hope that he begins to see how his actions affect not just him but all of society, but I wonder about the children that are now placed in the homes which he has left. Are they experiencing the same learning that he did? Do you have the power to change this? Would you be willing to step out of your comfort to make a change? Speak out for those that have no voice and don't even realize they need one. Consider being a foster parent yourself or a mentor. Perhaps you can be a CASA representative. Perhaps you could support someone else in being a foster parent. As the PSA says, "you don't have to be perfect, to make a change in a child's life."

Half Way Through the Race

Ironically after yesterday's dream, we heard today that we have made it through the first few hoops toward becoming foster parents. We are by no means through the gauntlet, but we are well on our way. We are expecting the invitation to the parenting classes in the mail. When I went to church tonight to choir, I thought to myself I'm going to have a hard time not running up to this child and hugging him and telling him, "We've been waiting a long time for you. Welcome!" Certainly, I hope that I get that same message across but he probably doesn't need to be accosted on his first day with us.

Foster Care have always been on our mind, but this is the first time that life has been in a position that we could move on it. It has been so much on our mind that our children have always been told that when they were in high school we probably would foster or adopt children. It is somewhat ironic that we are exactly at that point.

So many times I have questioned if we would be good foster parents. There are times when I wonder if we are good parents (period) There are days when I'm frustrated or they are driving me insane, but it was this commercial series that haunted me and made me look at everything in perspective.



My husband and I may not be perfect parents, but we love our children and would do anything for them. There are far more days of laughter than frustration in our house. And if our kids are any indication, I think so far, we are doing ok. I am so proud of them. So if you could all pray that we continue forward in our path, I would appreciate it. Pray that God gives us continued guidance and support and that every child waiting for a family knows that they are loved and that the world grieves for the troubles they face. If any of you have experience with foster care, please send along your hints.

Going Green - Better for the environment or for someone's pocketbook

I don’t know if it is because I am reading Walden (Henry David Thoreau) to my son at night or if is the Cash for Clunkers or the 10,000 other “Green” messages that we are inundated with, but I am really beginning to be suspicious of this entire marketing message. I am not being kind here I know, but I am beginning to feel it is exactly that “a marketing message”. Please understand, I do believe that we need to be good stewards of the earth and I do believe that we have strayed away from that. I do believe that many of us have our hearts in the right place as we attempt to “green” our lives. But . . .I would be interested to see how much we waste as attempt to do better.

I have been watching decorating shows that rip out entire kitchens or houses because the homeowners want to go green. I have watched congress convince us all to rid ourselves of old vehicles so that we move to cleaner vehicles. I have watched women toss makeup, purses, and clothes to get greener fashions. Where are all these resources going?

I’ve been watching products tout “green” just to entice the consumer: Nothing has been modified, no recipe changed. It is as if two “green” camps have arisen: one, which is really interested in helping our planet, and another, who is trying to reap a benefit from this mindset. The consumer is caught in the middle, trying to decipher which is real.

I think we could take a lesson from our grandparents during the Great Depression, everything that exists has value. Have you ever noticed how people of that generation hoard things? They have button boxes, nails and screws in small containers, extra pieces of wood, etc. etc. Cooking became an art of not just planning one meal, but figuring out how to use the leftovers - - -every last one of them. Isn’t this more green than scrapping everything and starting again? Shouldn’t we bring ourselves back to the Reduce, Reuse, Recycle concept? Use less, reuse what you can, recycle what you can’t and then, only then, go buy a new greener item.

Go and Make Disciples - Converting the locals

“Go and make disciples of all the nations.” I have been thinking of this command by Jesus found in Matthew 28:19 and mark 16:15. As we have moved and are “church shopping”, we have been coming to many different churches in the area to find one that fits us and reflects what we believe to be God’s truth. Perhaps we have sat jut next to you in a pew. When we left church this week and were discussing what we liked and what we didn’t , this scripture came to me again, “Go and make disciples of the world.”

These churches were not following this command, they were waiting for the faithful to walk to them. The command does not read, “Open your doors and let the faithful in.” It says “Go!” “Go and make disciples of the world.” I thought of this even within the context of our old church. We did go and make disciples through our participation in Heifer International, the Crop Walk, Operation Christmas child, our mission trip to Kentucky, but what about those just steps from our door. Did we expect them to find their way through our doors? If someone new came through our door, were we “making disciples” or just giving current believers a place to practice?

“Go and make disciples of the world.” Doesn’t this command imply that we should always be looking for those that need introduction to Jesus? Many of us avoid the Jehovah’s witnesses as they come to our door to spread their word. While we may not agree with their total message, we should admire them for their conviction in living out this command.

Interestingly, in Luke 24:47, the command is phrased slightly differently; “repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem”. The “Go” has been defined. Go not only means to spread the gospel across the world, but to also make sure that it is spread in the backyard. Just because Jesus lived in and around Jerusalem did not mean that all people heard the gospel or accepted on the first hearing. “Preach to all the nations, beginning at Jerusalem.”

I would like to personally inspire you to think about how your church could live out this scripture right in your neighborhood or community. Do not wait for believers to enter your doors but go out among the people and share with them the gospel

Some thoughts on how to do this:
1. Send a welcome letter to new families in the area
2. Hold a Bible Study at a local coffee shop
3. Post notices about special church events on community bulletin boards
4. Hold an outdoor concert of a Christian singer or group.
5. Have your church bazaar women participate in local craft fairs
6. Host the local Farmer’s Market or other non-religious event at your church
7. Start a book club – advertise throughout the town.

New Town, New Rules - Writing a Homeschool Education Plan

As many of you know, we have moved from Connecticut to Massachusetts (which I am proud to say that I think I can finally spell – who needs graduation test with words like Massachusetts – if you can spell it, you pass). This move has brought not only the many common moving problems like boxes and space, not being able to find things that you packed, learning new roads and how to get the grocery store, but as homeschoolers it has brought new regulations.

We are very lucky in Connecticut to have the right to educate our children as we see fit. There is recommended additional bureaucratic paperwork set out by the Department of Education if you see fit to complete it, but there is no legal obligation other than withdrawing officially, being enumerated by your school district (i.e. being counted as a homeschooler), and properly educating your child so that they are employable in the future. In Massachusetts however, paperwork is mandatory and so is the annual review. So I am busy now trying to fill out the children’s educational plan.

I didn’t think that it would be difficult to fill out a plan, but I must admit, I feel a little tied down. We are eclectic homeschoolers. We have a core curriculum that I follow for each child, primarily from Alpha Omega’s LifePac series, but then we also supplement with a variety of other materials. We often go on tangents, down side roads, and basically explore the world. For example, during the move, I’m not sure how many “official” homeschool books we opened, but this does not mean we did not learn things. How many kids can explain about down payments, participated in home inspections, and had closing documents explained to them by a lawyer? Certainly this experience has been an educational one, but how would I have put that in their educational plan a year ago?

In our first year of homeschooling in Connecticut, I had filled out the letter of intent and expected a portfolio review at the end. In fact, I kind of looked forward to showing them that I accomplished what they could not (we pulled our kids from public school in 2nd and 3rd grade). But then when I wasn’t called in for the review and opted to just withdraw the kids the following year, I never expected to have to face Big Brother again. Here we are though, in Massachusetts, with a whole new set of rules and an annual review again looming. I’m not so cocky now. I don’t need to prove anything anymore. In fact, I am a little concerned that our definition of education has pulled so far from society at large that it may be hard to explain our accomplishments. I no longer look at their quiz grades to tell me that we are successful. I wait for the times when they come up with an insight or an idea that may never have occurred to them before. I wait for the times that my daughter shows me a political cartoon that makes her laugh because she understands all the concepts behind it. I wait for the times that my son comes up with a better way to do something than either my husband or I. How am I supposed to record and show these moments? And frankly, given the public school’s track record are they the ones that should be judging?

Do you think that I could get away with “Educational Plan – to live in the world, to search for new experiences, and to participate in society so that it is a little better because we are here.”?

A Family Friendly Media Giant Emerges

Did you see this report? This is a critically important report that all parents should see.



Many of us have already been concerned about how media is affecting the raising of our children. This report shows that we have right to be concerned.

I think that we have all know that it is up to the parents to oversee their children's viewing habits, but as a concerned parent, I think that it is time for a revolution. A time for a media giant to arrise that puts the family first again. Where I can feel safe for my entire family to watch, read, and listen to. There are plenty of these such things for our youngest children, but for pre-teen and teenagers there are far fewer. Also, if like my family, you try to limit or oversee, your teen begins to feel different from others (as we all remember this is the ultimate sin as a teenager).

As consumers, why aren't we screaming for more appropriate media. Why can't we have great shows that intertwine creating great stations. Imagine if you could create tv viewing that includes only those channels that you oked and those stations were devoted to family friendly, education viewing. The other stations did not appear on your screen at all. Imagine if the teens could buy magazines that did not have sexually provocative advertising or articles that talked about issues far beyond their ages. It is a fine line between information / dialouge about issues and repeatingly being assalted with images and storylines that make such behaviors acceptable and normal. There are some shows out there that meet this guideline, but the shows before it and after it don't. What if we had the power to change that?

We have seen some of these changes in even adult women magazines, but teenagers seem to be being ignored. I challenge the biggest and brightest in the media world to begin working on this. These are the changes that go to the core of keeping our families together. These changes are at the core of supporting the growth of our children. I think technology has caught up to this idea and there is not just a need but a desire for this. Imagine a family friendly cable company that allows you to choose your stations a la carte and block the others from ever coming in. Imagine if there was an online portal that you could log your children in where they were locked into a safe environment with constant monitoring. Imagine if magazines, for girls especially, had reasonably sized models without underlying sexiness, but were still hip and cool. Ok, stop imagining. . . If you have money and talent, do it, please!

Computer Access for Kids

It is a love hate relationship! I personally love the internet. It allows me to learn and find out things that either I would never know or it would take me forever to access. On the other hand, I hate the internet. It is the portal to ruining your teenager. They have access to everything. Even when you give them a little leash and freedom, they access more – sometimes without you even understanding or knowing what they are doing.

As the experts recommend, our computer is in a public place in the house, but apparently they are quick to minimize. I do appreciate reflections in dark windows though.

It is funny, to us old folks, we are afraid that every keystroke is visible to someone else on the web. To the younger generation, I think they think of the computer as a shield that no one can identify themselves through.

I’m not sure that the good outweighs the bad. It used to be that you could protect your children if you just kept them away from the bad characters or the bad sections of town. Now those things have direct access to your own living room.

I have now changed the access to our computers so that only I can log the kids in. Therefore they can only use it with my direct absolute supervision, as opposed to reasonable oversight, but unfortunately I’m sure it is only a matter of time before they figure out how to get around that. Hopefully, their frontal lobe will have developed by then.

What to Cook

Sometimes I wish Rosie from the Jetsons really existed or the food transporters in Star Trek. Every night, I hear, “what is for dinner?”. These cries, I swear, start before they have barely downed their lunch. My husband is no better, sometimes he asks before he even leaves for work. Now I would love to be the preplanned Stepford wife who knows what we are eating for the next month and sometimes I do have it down, but some nights - - -aghhhhh! I don’t know and frankly (don’t tell anyone) I don’t care. I’ll be happy with a bit of cheese or a baked potato. I don’t want to think of a whole meal.

It seems like I am thinking about food 24 hours a day. If I’m not thinking of meal planning, I am thinking about shopping. What are we short on? And then I have to think of the extra things like, pies for church, coffee hour, cookies for meetings. No wonder dieting is so difficult. I think that my family thinks that I have a chip in my brain devoted just to meal preparation. I do enjoy looking through cooking magazines. I can’t really stomach cooking shows – maybe because I’m jealous. But I do like trying new things - - -maybe that is part of my problem. If every Wednesday was Prince Spaghetti day, I would know what I was having, but instead I like to mix it up and end up wishing I did not have to cook at all.

Oh, well, the microwave is beeping . . .I have to go make dinner. Maybe I’ll be more inspired tomorrow.

How do you plan your meals? Do you recommend any great websites or cookbooks?

My Life is Going to the Dogs

It is 10:00 at night and I am out walking the dog to do his business before we go to bed. Sometime between 5:45 and 6:15 am, I’ll be up to walk him again. I remember being so upset with my mother when she refused to get another family dog after our Keeshond, Niki, died. Now those words ring in my ears every day. I wish that she was still alive so that I could tell her I understand now.

We actually have two dogs and a cat. The cat is very independent. All I have to do is feed him.

The dogs, well, we have had James, another Keeshond, for 12 years. We didn’t choose him. He kind of came to us. My brother decided that my parents needed a dog, but my parents, especially my mother did not want another one. She wanted to travel and do things. She knew that a dog would prevent that and so he came to live with our growing family in our new home. James was so easy. If we let him out, he stayed by the house and came in when he was called. Our neighbor would take him whenever we traveled. Unfortunately, age has been creeping up on him. So my husband started to mention the idea of getting the puppy. We did not have James when he was a puppy and truthfully even if we did the kids would be too young to remember him at that age. I knew I was in trouble. Then he mentioned the wish to his younger brother. I just shook my head. I tried to explain my position. I finally was free from small children. I did not want to get tied down with pets. But I knew my pleas were falling on deaf ears. His brother, whose partner shows dogs, began the search. I kept trying to say. We weren’t looking yet. We would be looking after our current dog passed away, which might be years from now. Then the call came in. His brother was at a show out in Missouri and there was a Bernese Mountain Dog puppy available – four months old. When the first pictures arrived by email,

I knew it was all over. Spartacus Maximus, Max, came home a few days before Christmas.

Max is the cutest, most adorable dog ever. He doubles size almost every month. I can’t even pre-buy his heartworm and flea & tick supplies in advance, because he can jump to a new weight class from one month to the next. Now my life, along with the regular “mom” stuff includes grooming dogs (having it done professionally for one is one thing for two, it is too expensive), unending vacuuming, repeated visits to the vet, and constant dog walking. Unlike James, Max doesn’t do as well without a leash. We have spent more than a few hours chasing him down or just hoping he will come home. His favorite game, when he gets loose, is to hide in the woods. He stands so that he can see you, but so that he thinks you can’t see him. It is the doggy version of hide and seek.

But just as I thought, I am completely strapped to the house. When my husband travels, I can’t go with him. When we want to plan a day out, I have to think about how long the dog can last without going out. I have to get up earlier than I would like to walk the dog in the morning and when my husband is traveling, I can’t go to bed as I please, I have to wait until I walk the dog for the last time. And worst of all, since we are moving, we won’t have the family and friends around to help out on those rare occasions when it is just impossible for us to get back.

I now know exactly what my mother meant and I know why God makes puppies so cute – just like babies.