Just Call Me Woman

God, Our Inspirer

2011-11-17T15:23:00.000-08:00

I have to say that this first semester a seminary is tough. The school is tough, but what really is making it difficult is the balance - work, family, school is not an ideal equation. The other day when my poor son was complaining that he had hurt his finger, I actually contemplated how I was going to fit taking him to the doctor in my schedule (Good thing I made it a priority since it turned out to be a fracture).

One evening I had a bit of a breakdown when my loving husband commented that he had my back. I would say in general, he does, but as I was cooking dinner and the rest of the family was watching tv, I didn't feel like people had my back. I had a major paper due and needed to get some work done and yet, after a full day of work, I was still doing family work, before I could get to what I needed to. When my husband said, "Don't worry. I have your back." I responded rabidly, "NO, no you don't. If I'm here cooking, no one has my back." I think he knew he had kind of stepped in it. However, I will tell you that no one did come in to take over the domestic responsibilities.

It was at this point that God and I had a bit of a conversation. I wondered if this was just all a big mistake: I love begin in school and am fascinated by all that I am learning. I feel at home at the pulpit, but maybe this wasn't the right time. I thought, "I want this, but maybe God doesn't." Immediately, I felt, "I am you, and you are me. You feel you should do this because I want you to do this." I need to worry no more. . .But I don't think that it is going to make the work any easier, but it does bring a lot of peace.

So I ask you what God is inspiring you to do?

2011-10-22T12:44:00.000-07:00

"If you think you're too small to make a difference,
try going to bed with a mosquito in the room.”
African Proverb

A Solution to Crime

2011-10-17T16:24:00.000-07:00

I came by this during my reading of "Habits of the Heart" for one of seminary classes. I thought that it raised a very good idea. It certainly is not actually the solution to all crime, but perhaps some . . .

John "Winthrop saw justice as a matter more of substance than of procedure. . . when it was reported to him during an expecially long and hard winter that a poor man in his neighborhood was stealing from his woodpile, Winthrop called the man into his prescence and told him that because of the severity of the winter and his need, he had permission to supply himself from Winthrop's woodpile for the rest of the cold season. Thus, he said to his friends, die he effectively cure the man from stealing."

I thought that this was a wonderfully inspirational story and leads me to think about how I might embody the same idea. I don't have anyone stealing from my woodpile, but what could I do to lighten someone else's load? What could you do.

Children's Sermon for Trick or Treating UNICEF

2011-10-16T05:42:00.000-07:00

Some of you know that I have gone back to school. I am actually going back to school to get my Masters in Divinity and hopefully become a minister like Ian. In fact I am going to the same school that Ian went to, that Mardi goes to, and that our student minister, Peter, went to. I have a long way to go but at least I’ve started.

This semester I am taking a class called Congregational Imagination. Do you guys have a good imagination?

Let’s see – can you picture a purple bunny with blue polka dots and a lion’s tail?

You guys do have good imagination.

Well, the kind of imagining we do in this class is a little different. We imagine about churches that we might work in. Let’s say this church. Imagine I walk in and notice the peeling ceiling up there and so I imagine how the church might look nicer with a flat ceiling and so I figure out how to fix it.

OR we have great congregation imagineers right here. Our bells stopped working and so a couple people started talking about imagining that the bells would work again and they imagined not just that they would work but they would be able to play multiple melodious tunes. Their imagination became the carillon that now plays in our steeple.

The imagination used like this is a powerful tool. This is truly one of our gifts from God.

Well there is an organization that has used this same kind of imagination.

In 1946, just at the end of WWII several people got together to talk about the children of the world. They were very worried about the kids. They worried about them not eating properly, about not having clean water, about not being able to go to school.

These people got together and they imagined. They imagined a world where children weren’t hungry, where children weren’t sick, and could go to school. They then created UNICEF, United Nations Children’s Fund. And start to work to solve all these problems. They imagined a day when they wouldn’t have a job anymore because all the children would be healthy and educated.

Then about 1 year after UNICEF was founded a minister and his wife in PA were out for Halloween and they saw all the kid’s tick and treating. And they imagined . . . Imagine if we could use trick or treating for good. So they painted milk cartons to have children collect money for UNICEF. Now 60 years later, the imagination of these people has collected

$164 million dollars

1.6 billion people have safe water

2.3 billion doses of vaccine have been delivered

UNICEF built schools and buying supplies

Improved nutrition for countless children.

This Halloween, we are going to ask you to join in this imagination ideal and Trick or Treat for UNICEF. Vivian will be handing out your boxes and collecting them after Halloween.

Let’s take a minute to pray:

Dear God:

Thank you for blessing us with imagination. We are thrilled with the wonders that fill our minds. We are inspired by now others have used their imagination to change the world. We appreciate the opportunity to help bring other’s imaginations to life in tribute to You. And hope one day our imaginations will also help bring Your heaven to Earth. In Jesus name we pray. AMEN

Wondering Where I've Been

2011-10-08T12:22:00.000-07:00

So I'm sure at least a few of you are wondering where I've been. Well, even if you haven't been wondering, I'm going to share it with you any way. I have gone back to school. Actually, not just school but seminary. I am beginning the process to become a minister.

This is a huge step in my life (and that of my family). I believe that God has set this path before me and has been pushing me toward it my whole life. It has been an exciting, but also a scary step for me. I look forward to the many things that I will be learning and hopefully I'll have more than a minute or two to share some of it with you.

Strange Juxtipostion - Sexy Minister?

2011-08-09T18:23:00.000-07:00

Ok, this post is going to seem a little odd if it is read immediately following my previous post. Stick with it though, isn't this a prime example of what it means to be a woman? We are a bit of everything.

This has been a very exciting week. I received word that I have been accepted into a masters of divinity program. Yes, I will be working toward becoming a minister. This was a very big step, and I still have several more steps to get everything in order, but I'm trying to get it all done to begin the program this September.

I questioned whether it was too late to take a step like this. I really worried whether I was putting myself before the kids who are only minutes away from college themselves. I fretted over maintaining our family balance. Then I prayed, and I followed through. I figure if I am listening correctly and this is where He is aiming me then it will work out and I have to be ready to try.

If you ask Me where to go, don’t be afraid to follow when I lay the path.

Where is your path leading?

Are you brave enough to follow?

How to be Sexy

2011-07-31T05:00:00.000-07:00

You know that old phrase, "beauty is only skin deep"; well, I am beginning to think that it doesn't even run that deep. Recently my daughter has been pushing me to try colored and patterned bras. I've got to say that I was hesitant at first, but relented and tried. I'm hooked, literally. Wearing sexy bras, makes me feel sexier.

I'm not quite as adventurous as my daughter, who would wear a bra like this:

She thinks the more colors the better. But I definitely have turned a corner. My most recent purchase:

which I guess is pretty racy and certainly way beyond my traditional white or beige that I have worn for the first half of my life.

The best thing is that I swear when I put on these bras I feel prettier, sexier, more attractive. The only one that sees them (except for an occasional bra strap - my bra straps are forever peaking out) are me and my husband, but I would bet that others see the different attitude that I have been exuding because of my new underclothes.

Ironically, I was talking to the minister's wife the other day and she admitted the same thing. Her daughter had been encouraging her to get out of the grandma underwear. She pulled her shoulder strap out and bared a purple strap.

In fact I heard on the radio this phenomenon is not just a local one: http://health.msn.com/womens-health/daughters-seem-to-influence-mothers-fashion-sense . Daughters in general are affecting mom's dressing habits. I don't think I'll ever be as cool as her, but she definitely has uplifted my spirits and my sex appeal.

Can you find a Tomatillo in your grocery store?

2011-07-30T16:49:00.000-07:00

I had a revelation yesterday at the grocery store. Some of you more exotic cooks may already know this, but those of you that are just beginning some experimentation may not. Do you know that we are not all shopping in the same grocery store. Ok, I know that what I find in my grocery store vs. what is found in Spain or some other foreign country is totally different. I know that if I am making some rare Martha Stewart 20 ingredient masterpiece, I'll have to go to a chef store. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about regular recipes out of Cooking Light or Taste of Home.

I had to find Flank Steak for one recipe. Ironically another woman was looking for the same thing. We scoured the steaks to no avail. We finally asked the butcher. He said, "We don't get too much of a call for flank steak at this store. We don't always have it." Ok, I can understand that.

Next, I was searching for tomatilloes. It didn't help that I didn't even know what I was looking for. I could find them neither fresh, nor canned, so I asked my helpful fresh produce stock boy who promptly pulled out his vegetable book to show me what one was. Apparently, it is in nightshade family. But alas, there was none in this store. He advised me that if I went to the Chicopee store (about 20 minutes away), they carry them. What? A store 20 minutes away from the same grocery chain has different food on a regular basis. What am I missing? I think I becoming adventurous, but I've only scratched the surface. Alas, there is even more on this planet to see and do than I already know.

What interesting food have you found in a recipe that you have never used before?

Challenge: Go to a grocery store that you don't normally frequent and search out the differences. Try something new.

Something from Nothing

2011-07-28T16:03:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we wonder what we can give to others. This cabinet reminds us that we can always give something, even when we have nothing. This beautiful cabinet was created out of leftover pieces of a barn. This cabinet was created by a man who lost his home in the tornadoes. He was so thankful for all the church had done, he gifted us this beautiful cabinet. I would have said that he lost everything in the storm, but obviously not everything. He clearly maintains his talent and his heart. So when you think that you have nothing to give, look again. Look not outside yourself, but within, and remember this wonderfully giving inspiration.

Need a New Coffee Maker

2011-07-26T17:35:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, our house either got hit by lightning or we got some kind of electrical feedback. During that storm, we managed to lose some interesting but specific electrical items in the house. The smoke detectors blew throughout the house. Two GFI plugs shorted. The digital screen on one of the phones went. Most upsetting, my coffee maker died.

I am not coffee crazy, but I do enjoy my coffee especially at night before bed. I love coffee with a good book. I was very sad to not be able to make my coffee. So I thought about whether I should buy another maker or go back go Gevalia. We had used Gevalia years ago, but had stopped it long before we even moved. Their coffee is a little more expensive than the cheap store brands or some of the typical large manufacturer brands, but we have decided that their coffee is well worth the little extra that you spend. So I decided to restart the service. I was ecstatic when only a few days later my coffee maker came in the mail. I think the post mistress was a little taken aback by my enthusiasm by the delivery.

So thank you Gevalia for my new coffee pot. I look forward to many years of my coffee deliveries again. I have decided after many years that sometimes it is worth a few extra pennies to get a little less of something truly exquisite.

A Fresh Basil Plant in the Kitchen

2011-07-26T15:58:00.000-07:00

I broke down this week and purchased a basil plant for the kitchen. This was actually a big step because I hesitate to bring any live plants in the house because inevitably the cat will try eating it, knocking it over, or causing some other mischief. So far though, he hasn't bothered it. In the meantime, we've had basil in a pasta dinner and basil on our pizza. The Basil is MMMMMMMM good.

I am actually most looking forward to fresh mozzarella, fresh basil, fresh tomato with a sprinkling of Italian dressing.

If this basil plant continues to thrive, maybe I'll try some of the other fresh spices.

How do you keep your cats from getting in your plants?

A Challenge to Non-Believers

2011-07-25T04:58:00.000-07:00

My brother and I often have conversations about God's existence. He is definate a skeptic who believes that the rest of us have created a being to satisfy our need for answers. Certainly, when someone has such an anti perspective there is no logical agrument that is going to change their mind. So I have asked him to try an experiment (whether this will work or not I do not know, but I know that if we take one step toward God, He'll take at least two toward you - so I am hopeful): I have asked him to talk to God everyday for 40 days. He needs to tell him his concerns, his faults, his questions. I believe as this conversations unfolds, he will see that it moves from a one sided to a two sided conversations.

It will be interesting to see if the skeptic is willing to give it a try. I encourage you to pose the same challenge to other non-believers. I would live it if they would comment and let us know how the experiment unfolds.

Summer “Squash-amole” Recipe - Every Day with Rachael Ray

2011-07-24T18:06:00.000-07:00

Summer “Squash-amole” Recipe - Every Day with Rachael Ray

This is the recipe that we made today at the tornado relief center. We are trying to get creative with the donations from people's gardens.

HINT: Toasted day old bagels are a great thing to dip with.

Life is Good celebrates volunteers

2011-07-24T17:27:00.000-07:00

Life is Good. Isn't this the truth? I have now been working on and off at the tornado relief center since June 1st. The experience has been devastating, uplifting, challenging, life changing, loving, and unforgettable.

Yesterday, the volunteers were gifted with t-shirts or hats from Life is Good. Certainly none of us did this work for a reward, but the thank you was much appreciated.

It is still unbelievable how much work is left. The clean up will not be marked in days or months, but years. It will also be marked in the countless miracles we have all witnessed, and the friendships that have been formed.

Maybe a new design for Life is good is hands in hands. When many hands make light work, Life is Good.

Tornadoes in Massachusetts

2011-07-04T07:38:00.000-07:00

There are many things that you think about when you choose where to live. Certainly there are considerations about jobs, family, education, etc, but often there is part of you that is searching for safety. When you live in the northeast, you figure that you are fairly safe: major hurricanes only come by every ten years or so, earthquakes are generally minor, forest fires are usually contained, and tornadoes are usually small and rarely affect the population. We do have winter storms, but they eventually melt. All and all comparatively, it seems to be a fairly safe place to be until June 1st of this year, when a tornado swept through Western Massachusetts extending from Westfield to Charlton (almost 50 miles). It was like the tornadoes that you see on the news in the Midwest except the Midwest doesn't have trees like we do. The devastation was extreme.

Fortunately, this is not my home. We were very lucky, but the area near our church not so much. The impact was unbelievable in width, length, and general impact. Trees look like toothpicks sticking from the ground. Areas that couldn't see the sky due to a canopy of trees are now bathed in sunlight and blanketed in the night sky. Houses are covered in blue tarps, split in half, or town completely from their foundations. The cleanup will not be measured in days but more likely months and probably years.

The one amazing portion that I have been blessed to witness is the coming together of a community to help those in need. I have worked all of last month at the tornado aide center. The outpouring of support not just from locals but from those that came miles and miles just to help has been incredible. One night, one of the people asked, "Do you make all this food? It is delicious." While I may have wanted to take credit, I was able to say that no, all the food was donated. We had not had to make anything.

When people wonder if there are still good people on this earth, I know without a doubt that the answer to this question is a resounding, "Yes." It is a shame sometimes that it takes devastating emergencies to bring us all together, but you can surely know that in a time of need, we can and will come together. This is one of the great things about people in general and specifically about the USA. As different as we all are, we truly are all United.

God Bless the USA! Happy Independence Day!

Mother Daughter Time

2011-04-30T06:47:00.000-07:00

Finding time to spend with your daughter is critical. As they get older, it may be harder and harder and schedule, but truly they need your time more now than they did when they were little.

Yesterday, as all the men were away, dd and I had a morning and evening time. Of course the morning was getting up at 4am for the Royal Wedding. I personally found this special, because I remember getting up at 4 am for Diana and Fergie's weddings. Unfortunately, when I was a child, I got up alone. To get up with my daughter and share this special memory was wonderful (I think I did nod off a bit - we were up until midnight the night before).

Last night, we had to do some errands and so we shared a dinner together and then came back for one of our favorite mother daughter times. We did a foot soak with a hand and foot massage while we watched a movie.

The foot soak recipe is so easy. I'm not even sure where we picked it up, but it is simply: hot water, powdered milk, and a few drops of extract (we use almond). We put the mixture in a large aluminum foil tray (one for each) on towels and make sure that everything is within a hand's reach so that we don't have to be disturbed. And then after soaking a while, we use salt and oil as a scrub. We follow that with a hand and foot rub with handcreams from Bath and Body Works; specifically, my daughter loves Moonlight Path.

Not only did we have some wonderful food (Farmer's Market deep dish pizza at Uno's), great conversation, but the pampering reminded me of when dd what a baby and I would give her a baby massage. There is something about touch that creates intimacy and reminds us that we are all human.

If you think your baby is all grown up and doesn't need you anymore, you are wrong. Take time today to schedule a date with your daughter, whether she is 16, 36, or 56. You will both benefit from the time.

Greg Mortenson and the beautiful lie?

2011-04-20T14:09:00.000-07:00

This is such a sad story. I have found Greg's mission to be such an inspiration. I hope somehow there may be an error in this report.

Greg Mortenson and the beautiful lie?

The End of an Era - All My Children and One Life to Live Cancelled

2011-04-15T05:03:00.000-07:00

I have to begin this post with a confession: I was once a Soap Opera junkie. I watched the ABC Soap Opera line up from the time I was 12 or 13 until well into my 20's. The first love of my life was "Blackie" (John Stamos) and the first concert I went to was Rick Springfield. Granted those are both General Hospital characters, which was the easiest for me to watch based on the school bus times, but I certainly knew my Erika Kane and Asa Bucchanan too. I haven't had the time to watch them in years, but to hear that they are stopping production on AMC OLTL is sad. And frankly, I feel for the actors too, many who have acted for years and years on these shows. I hope for them new opportunities await. As for me, it will be interesting to see what the new generation of tv brings (not that I'm home to watch it), but from a sociological perspective. Are we back to game shows, cooking shows, or more reality tv. Maybe there is something new that we haven't even considered. If we're lucky, maybe it will mean that people will shut the tv off and start getting outside and interacting one on one, but somehow I doubt that as it is pretty hard to sell commercials to that.

Lent - Giving something up & Gaining something New

2011-04-12T19:06:00.000-07:00

Lent has traditionally been a time of giving something up. In our old church, Lent was celebrated more by taking something new on. This year, I have kind of done both.

Many people choose to give up sweets during Lent, but I don't eat that many sweets so how many times will I really be tempted - one or two during the forty days. I decided to give up coffee. Maybe I need to explain what that means to me. I generally get up with coffee, have at least one during the day, and my favorite time of the whole day is a coffee before I go to bed. Now mind you, until now, this "sacrifice" was not a public thing. I really felt like I wanted to experience this myself, I didn't want to share this plan with anyone: so I put a little codicil in my Lenten fast - I would not get myself coffee. However, If someone else bought me a coffee, I would gratefully accept it. (Note: I could not ask someone else to get it for me. It had to be a random act of kindness of which I had no control.) This may seem like just wishful thinking, but I have at least two angels in my life that suprise me with coffee, so this was a real consideration. I will also note for those of you that are not familiar with Lent, that I became very thankful for Sundays which are not included in the Lenten 40 days. I didn't over indulge but I surely did partake.

Coffee was a really good thing to give up because it literally made me think of Lent every single day. I could feel the temptation of Christ. I could feel loss and sadness. I know that sounds a bit extreme and I certainly don't mean to the extreme, but I would liken it to running sandpaper over you arm repetitively making you think about how it might feel to have a deep cut. The feeling is not the same, but it is a little hurt that makes you ever mindful of a deeper, darker, more painful possibility.

At the same time, we took on attending our church's Lenten series of dinners with a conversation about the movies Economy of Love. And we made our once a month Breakfast with the Bible a weekly experience. These times of togetherness, which originally felt like just another responsibility have actually translated into the oasis of my week. It is like swimming miles, but knowing when I touch that buoy that I will be relieved and have finished the race.

These two Lenten experiences have broadened my faith and deepened my Christian love. I'm hoping the lessons will far exceed the 40 days of action.

What did you give up or add on during this Lenten season? How has it changed your views or experience?

Scouting Sunday

2011-03-02T15:32:00.000-08:00

Can you believe that she is up there again? I may have to soon call DD, "Reverend DD".

We have started a wonderful tradition at our new church of Scouting Sunday. This is by no means our tradition, but in fact a worldwide tradition that we have just established here. This is the second year that we have done it up here. We did it in our old church with much wider success as it was an established tradition. Here, it is only in its second year; so we have had moderate participation so far. This year was better than last and hopefully next year will be better than this one.

Traditionally, according to the Boy Scouts of America, Scouting Sunday is set as the Sunday prior to February 8th. However, variations are acceptable. We have actually been using the last Sunday of February. What Scouting Sunday means varies from one church to another. For us, basically, the kids take over the entire church service. Our daughter has actually been the one to facilitate the service and give the sermon (one of the downfalls of having parents in charge of something). All the other kids and in some cases adults do the other readings, ushering, lighting of candles, etc. But frankly such a celebration can be whatever you wish to make of it.

I think Scouting Sunday is a wonderful celebration to infuse the church with people that might not ordinarily attend. It also offers the Scouts a deeper insight into their religion and may even inspire them to take a step into the clergy. Any way you look at it, there is not too much of a down side. I encourage you to plan an event with your church. If you have any questions about the actual structure of the service we planned, feel free to contact me with questions.

How Church can stop your worrying

2011-02-20T19:14:00.000-08:00

Last night and this morning, my neurons have been firing at an amazingly rapid rate. Strangely, this is something that happens to me often just before my period. PMS for me may mean a little testy, but it also means very productive. Sometimes the rapid fire, can make me a little giddy / punchy so I hope that you will get a bit of a laugh at the comic that I created after listening to this morning's sermon. Take the time to read the scripture and take it cum grano salis.

Here's hoping you can find the real message and worry not : )

The Best Love Scene in a Movie - Ever!!!!

2011-02-18T15:37:00.000-08:00

I was watching He's Not that into You with DD the other day. And I have to say that they movie has the best love scene ever. It not one with sex or passion or any traditional love scene. In fact, all they do is hug. But there is a part in the movie, after Jennifer Aniston has given Ben Afleck an ultimatum about getting married and has moved out, her father has a heart attack and she is holding down the fort. Her brothers and brother-in-law are at the house but paying more attention to football than anything else. Jennifer looks exhausted. She, holding a basket of laundry, asks her brothers if anyone has done the shopping. They reply their fine, they have everything they need. She exasperated says "No, for Dad," but gives up before the words are even out of her mouth. You can she has all but given up. Then she turns, looks down the hall, and who does she see in the kitchen doing the dishes but Ben. He blurts out that he's already been shopping, picked up some healthy choices for her father, and reassures her that everything is going to be ok. Jen hugs him relieved. And that is it. That is the best love scene I have ever seen in a movie. True love at its best! I won't ruin it for you, but . . . maybe they'll get married any way.

Creating a Valentine's Day Card from Scratch

2011-02-14T01:13:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's to all of you!

This was actually made by DS (14) during Sunday School. He came down while I was teaching. Some how he took the simple mouse project and turned it into something extra special. Certainly, no one else's mouse looked like this. So we wanted to use it to wish you all a happy valentine's and remind you that today is not about the money you spend on your loved one; it is about taking the time to show them how special they are to you. Showing them might only take a few cents. This card for example is made from three sheets of construction paper, a glue stick, and a piece of recycled cording, but it's message is clear - you are worth my time.

Throwing a Sweet 16 Party

2011-02-13T13:07:00.000-08:00

A sweet 16 to many girls is like a segment of the MTV show, Sweet 16

My Super Sweet 16 - MTV Shows

but it doesn't need to be like this. Sometimes simple is more unforgettable than over the top (and frankly, way more affordable.). We had DD's 16th at my cousin's tea room with 6 girls and 6 adults. Four of these girls that have been together since DD was in pre-school. This is our Girl Scout troop. A group of friends that I hope will last long after they age out of the Scouting program. I reminded them after the toast what a special group of friends they are and that they have something rare that I hope they will work to preserve. They were certainly the perfect group to celebrate this special day.

Don't worry, this is sparkling cider, but just another touch that made the day super special. What do the 16 year olds really want? I think they just want to feel "adult". They want to feel like a new section of their life has begun. So this was a delightful way to celebrate the birth of my baby girl. We had assorted yummies from cucumber sandwiches to American scones to hand made heart chocolates. I think it all translated into an unforgettable day.

This is the birthday girl and me at the celebration! The only negative is that I think, based on a comment today, that dear husband (her father) felt a little left out. I guess I need to learn to share my princess a bit.

Need to Know about how Physical Education Affects the Brain

2011-02-12T06:18:00.000-08:00

During my exercise time last night I caught Need to Know on PBS. Interestingly the topic was education (one of my favorite topics). The story I picked up the broadcast on was this:

Watch the full episode. See more Need To Know.

Now obviously as a homeschooler, I'm not really too concerned about setting up a physical education program in my public school, but I think the basic science definitely crosses over to homeschooling. First of all maybe this is one of the many reasons homeschoolers to score better because they are not glued to their seats for 6 -8 hours a day. But I'm not looking to figure out why homeschooling is better, I'm looking to improve it and certainly this concept of physical education boosting scores and learning can be helpful. We are pretty flexible as it is, but maybe I can encourage more breaks between lessons with exercise as the goal.

Let me know what you think of this information and how you think we can adapt it to homeschooling? Maybe you do already. How does it work? Specifically, how do you implement it?

How Much More Snow are We Expecting?

2011-02-06T16:22:00.000-08:00

I envision our dog wondering how he made it back to the Alps. This is a picture just out our side door. If it was a slightly wider angle, you would see that this pile is up to the lights on our lamppost. I don't recall ever seeing snow like this before. We actually had to dig a path from our driveway to the oil intakes on the side of the house so that we can have oil delivered tomorrow. Frankly,I'm thrilled to hear that the groundhog did not see his shadow, but I didn't think he would anyway. We haven't seen sun in weeks and I'm not sure how he would get out of his den. With all this snow, I'm thinking that even if we don't get another flake, it may be a while before we see green grass.

Organize Your Food to Save Money

2011-02-04T12:08:00.000-08:00

Buying extra food during sale time is a great way to save money, but not if you can't find it when you need it or forget that you have it at all. Organization is really the key. You need to be able to see the extra food that you have, and you have to rotate it so that it doesn't go bad. Building or buying shelves that allow you to see your stores is a great idea. DH and DS this weekend worked on ours. Apparently you can buy the plastic end pieces that allow you to insert 2x4's to build these shelves. The plastic pieces can be found at your local Lowe's and Home Depot. It takes just a few screws to get everything put together. I'm hoping to get a few more of these shelves, but this is a great start.

With suprises like this, I may leave my husband and son home bored more often.

Home Cooked Comfort Food - Chicken A' La King

2011-02-03T16:49:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you have to look to your past for inspiration. Last night I made a yummy roast chicken, but then ended up running DD down to CT for a UofH game for her birthday. We were originally supposed to go and then yesterday was yet another miserable weather day in the Northeast so we weren't going to go, thus I stuck in the chicken; then it looked like it was clearing, so I left DH and DS to eat it. We were supposed to meet my father at the game, but the driving was so bad, I ended up calling him and telling him not to come up. Instead DD and I had dinner at Ruby Tuesday (BTW thank you Ruby Tuesday for a surprise dessert - how did you ever know that it was her birthday? Could it have been the tiara she wore?), and then headed over to the game. Anyway, that all meant that we had roasted chicken left over to use for tonight's dinner. For whatever reason, both DH and I had the same thought - Chicken A' La King. It was somewhat funny that DS thought that Chicken A' La King had to be some fancy food since it had such a fancy name. I told him that no, Chicken A' La King was a housewife's friend because it is cost effective and a great way to use leftovers. Here is the recipe that we used, but remember that it is a recipe that is supposed to help you clean the fridge out so don't be afraid to add all sorts of things. I particularly remember the Lima Beans in this, but you will find them missing from my recipe, and I would have added peas but DH hates peas.

Chicken A' La King

9 T cornstarch

9 T butter

1 1/2 tsp pepper

2 chicken bouillon cubes

2 c water

1 can cream of chicken soup

4-5 c diced cooked chicken

1/2 - 1 c carrots diced and cooked

1/2 - 1 c corn (canned or cooked if they were frozen)

1 can green beans, drained

1 cup milk

Melt butter in saucepan. Stir in cornstarch until mixed. Add pepper. Mixture will thicken. Stir constantly. Dissolve chicken bouillon in 2 c water. Pour into butter mixture. Continue to cook and stir until thickened again. Add cream of chicken soup and milk (you can add more or less milk depending on the consistency that you would like). Be sure to get out all of the lumps. Add chicken and vegetables. Stir to mix. Heat until everything is warm. Serve over toast.

I'm telling you that this recipe was sooooooo sinfully yummy. DS loved it, and I can't seem to stop myself from sneaking little spoonfuls of my husband's since he's not back from his meeting yet. Somethings from your childhood are meant to left there (yes, I'm speaking of those Lima Beans) and others are meant to be brought back and enjoyed. I hope you take the time to enjoy this childhood favorite.

PS. Here is the newly 16 year old celebrating at last nights UofH girls basketball game with the mascot, Howie.

Why New Mothers Really Don't Need Sleep

2011-02-02T12:08:00.000-08:00

16 years ago today my baby girl was born. It amazes me all that I didn't know that day. Now she is taller than me (and possibly smarter than me - but don't tell her that). No matter how much everyone tells you to cherish every moment, it is hard to internalize that when you are changing pooppy diapers, cleaning up spit up, and are completely sleep deprived; but truly, time moves in a flash and the next thing you will know that little baby will be getting ready to drive. It is amazing to think that my baby will be leaving the nest in the next few years. She's ready to get her driver's licence. She is signing up for college courses this summer. It is a far cry from that first night when I wondered what idiot decided to leave the hospital early as I could not settle her down and no longer had a call nurse button.

So skip the sleep and enjoy every moment.

Happy Birthday, Baby Girl!

Blog to Learn

2011-01-30T17:44:00.000-08:00

I found this on Edu-tube, but it is as relevant to homeschoolers as it is to regular school children.

If you want to see my daughter's blog, check out A Cup of Tea with Mom and Me. Theoretically it is both or ours, but realistically it is more hers than ours. And I would agree it has been a great platform to improve her writing. It certainly isn't her only writing, but I will tell you that I don't have to beg her or plead with her to post. It is all her and if you look through it from beginning to end, you will see that she has shown a great deal of development. So after reviewing all the safety rules with your children, encourage them to Blog ON.

Ordinary People?

2011-01-29T17:39:00.000-08:00

I thought you might enjoy this:

If you could be any superhero, who would you be?

2011-01-28T17:11:00.000-08:00

Tonight, my son is glued to Incredible Hulk the Movie (2000+ version). I asked him if he knew that we used to watch this as a weekly series. Apparently, he did because he even knew Lou Ferrigno who played Hulk (apparently he had a cameo on Sunny with a Chance today ironically). We then started to talk about other Superheroes of our time. He joked that I would have been Wonder Woman. I corrected him to say that when I was growing up, I actually wanted to be Isis. He of course had no idea who I was talking about. Do you remember Isis?

Now mind you I would never be ashamed to be Linda Carter (the Wonder Woman of the 70's), but Isis was extra cool. The show wasn't long run, but I loved it. If you could be any superhero, who would you be?

A Vegetarian Recipe that Even Meat Eaters Will Like

2011-01-27T14:46:00.000-08:00

DD has decided to become a vegetarian. She has been fairly diligent about her decision and frankly, fairly inspirational. Monday night when my husband was out and I had to make dinner, it seemed foolish to make a meal that one out of the remaining three of us wouldn't eat, so I started scouring her Vegetarian Times for something to make. I flipped across this recipe and decided that that was what I was going to make.

I used my Tightwad Gazette dough recipe as I didn't have any refrigerated pizza dough in the fridge, replaced garlic powder for minced garlic, and olive oil for the non-hydrogenated margarine, but all in all I followed the recipe. It was delicious. This is definitely a recipe that we can all agree on - carnivore and herbivore alike.

Can a Homeschooler get into college?

2011-01-26T06:19:00.000-08:00

One of homeschooling parent's worst fears is: have I done enough to help get my child into college. Ok, maybe I am projecting my fear, but I do know some other parents who share this fear. Well, we have actually now taken a partial step toward alleviating this fear. Last night DD took her placement exams at the community college. Mind you DD is technically a Sophomore in high school, but it has been my plan that she begin working on her Associates degree in the last two years of high school and then transfer to a four year school for her Bachelor's. She then has it planned to go on for her Master's in Library Science at Simmons College in Boston (yes, this may be a little specific and hopeful, but she actually has already toured the campus and talked to a professor there and I think her heart is set). She placed well on the exam. So I can begin to breathe a little easier. Next step will be registration for either summer session or fall and then it is up to her from there . . . Now, I just have to worry about her brother. That one may be a little more complicated.

Kim Kardashian Tweets about Teen Mom 2

2011-01-25T17:43:00.000-08:00

Ok, I have to make an admission. It is neither that I occasionally watch Keeping up with the Kardashians, nor is it that I have watched MTV's Teen Mom. The admission is that when my husband travels, I don't sleep. So this past weekend was very, very long and apparently one night I fell asleep to E! (not my normal channel to watch but it is tough to find something to watch the later it gets) and woke up to E!News. The big "news" (I use that word carefully) was that Kim K tweeted "It seems that shows like Teen Mom are all of a sudden making teen pregnancy seem cool in the eyes of young girls...but girls, these are not people you should idolize!' Now that statement woke me up.

Having a daughter who is 15, I have seen both the Kardashians and Teen Mom. Now I must say that I was apprehensive about Teen Mom the first time I watched it, but I was pleasantly surprised by the honesty of the show. Pregnancy was by no means glamorized. The show portrayed the good and the bad of being pregnant young. Frankly, any glamorizing of the situation or admiring of the moms is occurring outside of the MTV show in the tabloids and other print media. In contrast, Keeping up with the Kardashians and the other Kardashian shows are horrible. In general, they promote excess: excess in spending, excess in drinking, excess in permissive behavior, excess in attitude. While I appreciate that they try and support one another as a family and that we all have faults, I think that one should maybe be self reflective before commenting about other shows. And if truly Kim is concerned about how tv affects our youth and their morals then perhaps she should get more involved in the development of her own family's show.

Planning a Sweet Sixteen Birthday

2011-01-24T06:00:00.000-08:00

Can you believe that it is almost that time? My sweet daughter is about to turn 16.

So as everyone knows, 16 is the time for that time honored tradition of a sweet 16 party. Unfortunately, not everyone is bi-statal (My new word for half living in two different states. We lived in CT for the first 14 years of her life and have lived here now almost two year). What does this mean for a 16th birthday party? It makes it very difficult. Where do you have it? Who do you invite? She has made a few friends up here, but not as many as she had down there. But now we've been gone from down there long enough that some friendships aren't what they used to be. Needless to say, we have opted out of the traditional big shin dig and have decided to do a small but very special day at my cousin's tea shop, Tea Roses Tea Room.

We have planned a delightful afternoon tea and have rented out their back room. We have been very blessed with a tight knit Girl Scout troop that will travel anywhere to do anything together and so we are keeping it small with all the girls and their mom's (these girls have been together since Daisies). After what I'm sure will be an unforgettable afternoon (it always is with this group), I suggested to DD that she contact an old friend to go to the movies. DD and her friend haven't seen each other in a while but talk on Facebook, texting, etc almost every day. So I'm hoping although this may not be the bash that she once dreamed of, but that it will be unforgettable anyway.

I will keep you posted on how the actual day turns out.

Comparative Religion Course for Homeschoolers

2011-01-22T10:15:00.000-08:00

This year I have begun to undertake a bit of a comparative religion course with my son. It is probably not fair to use the word course because that implies that I am using a curriculum or have created a specific timetable with specific resources, and this is not so. Maybe I should call it an exploration of religions. We are Christian - - -Protestant - - - Congregationalists by experience and practice, but I think it is important to know about other world religions. We have thus far been reading about the three main monotheistic (One God) religions: Islam, Judaism, and Christianity, but also came by a great book about Buddhaism.

DS has kind of expanded on this by visiting a Jewish service this past summer at the Boy Scout Jamboree. So I am always on the look out for additional resources to add on to this exploration. Last night, I came by a great resource on PBS to further explain Buddhaism. If you have any interest in learning more or teaching about this religion, I recommend the show itself and the resources availalbe on the PBS website.

Watch the full episode. See more The Buddha.

Looking for a Sunday School Curriculum

2011-01-21T06:00:00.000-08:00

Our church is unique in that our Sunday School is all in one. There are no grades and not too much room to separate even if we wanted to, but I believe that a strong Sunday School makes for a strong church. Thus, as usual, open mouth and instead of inserting foot, I add a commitment to my calendar. I also kind of believe that if you are going to complain, you better be willing to do something about it. Therefore, I am on the committee to help out with the Sunday School.

This year we started working with an online curriculum called The Whole People of God. The unique thing about this program is that you pay according to the number of people in your congregation. It is available all online which means that we can have multiple people access the curriculum and no one can forget to pass the book along. They are lectionary based and have lessons weaved throughout the congregation. We even took our Christmas Pageant from the curriculum with some adaptations. They have multiple levels to pull from, but since we teach the masses, I usually just use the Primary level and adapt from there.

If you are looking for a curriculum to use, after several months now of using it, I can highly recommend The Whole People of God. Now, I can only pray that they don't stop publishing like the last one I really liked, BibleQuest.

Following Directions - Step by Step - Making a Prayer Shawl

2011-01-11T17:28:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I am appalled by the number of things that can completely frustrate me. I have a college degree and yet some things that appear simple are soooooo hard. This week my challenge was crocheting again. I have crocheted in the past, but I was trying a new pattern which I found in:

I was so excited when the library added this book to their collection. When I took the book out I was thrilled to see that many of their patterns were rated "easy", so I thought no sweat, I could finish it in a weekend. HA HA. My daughter finally told me that I couldn't give the prayer shawl to the intended recipient because I had sworn too much and it would take double prayers to release the negative energy I had put into it. I didn't really intend to swear. It was just that I had started it about 5 times. I thought I was on the right track, but then after many rows and many hours I would look back and what should have been nice, even rows were wavy, erratic edges. I had lost at least 10 stitches. I wanted to give up, but then DD had to use her secret weapon - - -my own words. "Don't give up!" She said. Uggggggggghhhhhh.

Finally, she, who has never touched a crochet hook says, "Give me the pattern." She starts reading "SK first SC and DC in each DC after. CH three." She asked, "Mom, is this English?" But in her confusion, she found my error. Her careful reading and my translating brought forward that I was skipping a whole row and chaining three when I was supposed to be chaining one. I was back on track.

Now if I can keep the cat from playing in my yarn, I should be able to finish the prayer shawl. I think when I get this pattern down, I will do the same pattern again for our dear friend. Hopefully by then, I will have used up all my swears and be able to confidently and prayerfully finish her shawl.

The Secret to a Long and Happy Marriage

2011-01-04T14:14:00.000-08:00

I don't think I have ever been as excited about an anniversary as I am this one. I am not excited because we are going somewhere wonderful or because I'm expecting some big present (I think we are going to the Outback for dinner and then shopping at BJ's for the Boy Scout pasta dinner and we banned gifts a long time ago.). I am just excited that we are at 19 years. It seems like we are very lucky to have such a length of time together. I see so many of our friends getting divorces and on second and third marriages and yet we are still together.

DH and I started dating in my senior year of high school. Who knew we would still be together so many years later? I will never forget my husband's words when he tried to give me his class ring and I refused it, "Don't worry. We are going to get married someday, so it doesn't matter if you don't take it now." I walked into my house and told my mother that he was insane; but, I guess he had the last laugh and was correct.

For those of you that are in the single digit celebrations or contemplating a future together, you may ask what the secret is. I think the answer is that there is no secret. Living with someone for so many years takes a lot of hard work, a lot of communication, and a lot of compromise. Love is over rated some times. Commitment is everything. If you think you are going to love every moment, quit now and walk away. There may be days or moments that you down right hate each other, but then you remember those special moments, those special times, and the reason you are together and the anger slips away.

I can only hope that I will posting about our anniversary for years to come! I pray that one day will celebrate our 50th or 60th together, and may God bless all those couples who have.

The Cure for Depression

2011-01-02T16:50:00.000-08:00

This weekend our family hosted a new foster child for the weekend. This is called respite. The child comes for a short period of time between placements, or, in this case, while the "regular" foster parent(s) take a break. We were pleasantly surprised with a delightful teenage girl who fit in wonderfully in the family. This morning we took her to church. Afterward during coffee hour, I asked her what she thought of the church. She looked around and said, "Everyone . . .everyone is. . . is, so . . . .happy." She was profoundly impressed by this. As I looked around I saw the younger girls marching in a parade, some middle grade boys playing Foosball, guys chattering, people eating. I saw laughter and smiles. I saw true happiness.

Does this mean the people of the church don't have problems? No. We all have issues and problems, but for a few brief hours we are removed from it all and given a shot of happiness and joy that we can bring with us out the door and try to spread in the world. This girl had hit on it, church, God, religion, for me is happiness, joy, comfort, replenishment. Even on the darkest days I have felt His love, and on good days, I feel so blessed to reflect that love and peace to others.

I sent this girl's observations to our minister, because I thought that he should hear the compliment. We had heard the sermon and were reflecting God's love into the world. Apparently, we had internalize the sermon so well that it was immediately obvious even to someone who had only met us all once.

Praise to God! May His goodness, kindness, love, and peace flow through me. May He use my hands and guide my feet. Might my life be used to His purpose. AMEN

2 Credits in Homemaking

2010-12-27T15:52:00.000-08:00

This winter DD got a lesson in sewing. She actually made a SMART goal (a Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely goal for a Girl Scout Interest Patch) to design and sew an outfit of her own, but as we got closer to Christmas and saw that we were going to have to do some major pageant costume renovations, I suggested tying in the two goals together. So she adjusted her SMART goal to relate to the costumes.

I think this was a good decision for her as she began to realize how difficult sewing can be. It is one of those things that looks so easy when you look from afar and so hard when you do it yourself. We had to work on one of the three kings costumes. We used the old costume as a rough pattern for the cutting of the new costume. And we had to basically use all found material as the Sunday School had little money for materials (If you look really closely at the right arm sleeve, you will see where we salvaged the material we were cutting. We used an old sheet. ).

We used old sheet binding and made some of our own to dress up the costume and give it some richness. As DD finished all the cutting and pinning, she got to move to the cherished position of sewer. As she wasn't completely confident about this new skill and needed a little bolstering, she decided a superhero might be in order . . . so let me introduce you to Super HomeMaker.

I'm not sure that the cape made her any better at sewing, but it sure did give her some flair. Now I dare you to find that in a Home Economics class in school. That is if you can even find a Home Ec class since most have been cut due to the municipal and educational budgets.

Sewing, I think, is one of those skills that you will never have to wonder how that will help you in the future because you will find out over and over. DD has no intentions of becoming a seemstress, but she is starting to learn some skills that will help her you for many years to come.

How to Catch Your Kids if they are sneaking candy

2010-12-26T16:12:00.000-08:00

This candy dish has been through our family for at least three generations.

I first remember it at my grandparents house. The trick with this dish I think is the v-cut around the edges. It is impossible to get the candy without making noise. No matter how carefully you try to remove or replace the top it clinks, alerting everyone to your candy thieving. So if you are an adult, I recommend purchasing one. If you are a child, perhaps this is the dish that you want to carry with greasy fingers.

It was amazing to see this Christmas Eve to see yet another generation trying to sneak their way into it.

Gifts that Go Beyond Christmas

2010-12-26T05:03:00.000-08:00

This year one of the most incredible gifts that I received came from my Aunt Judy. My aunt and uncle began working on our genealogy several years ago and gifted us with a terrific volume of information which they continue to keep up. This year though they added a whole new element. In their travels, they discovered that one of our relatives William H. Shaw kept a war diary between the years of 1861 - 1865. She got permission to borrow the hand written document and transcribed the entire document into a typewritten document which she had copied and spiral bound for all of the branches of the family.

I actually spent my Christmas Day reading this diary. Some days are boring and quick, but many pass on information that made me cry and cringe. Stories of men dying, their blood splattering across him. Stories of stealing split rail fences to make fires. Stories of penning notes for fallen comrades. This is a Christmas present that will be cherished not just by me but for generations to come.

I'm thinking if I could find one of the many letters William H. Shaw talks of writing, I could possible say thank you well enough.

Here are the notes from his diary on December 31st, 1864 that should make you realize how truly blessed we are:

"31st, Saturday. Stormy, some snow, this is the last day of the year. How many commenced the year with high hopes and expectations? but how soon blasted. How many who commenced the coming year will live to see its close. Shall I? God grant that I may live to see my friends once more."

FYI - he does live to see his family again, except a daughter who dies while he is in service. The second to last entry on Sunday, July 2nd, 1965 says, Pleasant, we were paid off and got our discharge papers today, and it has been one of the happiest days of my life. A free man and a citizen once more.

May you all be blessed in this coming year and may none of you endure what our relatives did during that bloody time in our history.

Christmas Cards are Posted

2010-12-22T13:12:00.000-08:00

This year seems to be flying by. I barely have time to breathe. So I am more thankful than ever for DD. She actually wrote our Christmas newsletter and created our Picniked picture. My only job was to get them printed off and stamp them. She even addressed the envelopes. And even with all that help, I didn't get them out until today. So for those of you in Cyber Space, here is your Christmas Card:

We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Frank Lloyd Wright's Affair Makes for a Great Read

2010-12-21T16:38:00.000-08:00

Do you keep a list of books that you hope to read in the future? I do. This book has been on the list for a while. I suggested it a few book club meetings but no one seemed to gravitate toward it. Finally, I just picked it up on my own.

I absolutely loved this book. I wasn't sure what to expect at first. I actually thought it was going to be a farce, but it is actually historical fiction. The affair really happened as did many of the "facts" of the book. It is the in between stuff that has been made up.

Mamah (May - ma) is married when Frank meets her. She and her husband are actually his client. But I guess, alas, love is love and they begin an affair which causes Mamah to leave her family, her children, and even her country for a while. The book gives insight to Frank, to women of the era, and to the complications of an affair.

I won't give anything else away, but the ending is shocking.

I hope you will pick it up and enjoy it as much as I did.

How Do You Know When You Are Old?

2010-12-16T03:38:00.000-08:00

A definite sign that you are getting older is when you plan a date with your husband around going to the doctor. DH and I don't get out too much alone, but we saw that we both needed to do blood work for the doctor. So, we planned a blood work date. What does that mean? That means that we are going to get up earlier than usual, go do our blood work, and then plan to have breakfast together before we both head in opposite directions for work. DH joked that we are practicing for retirement. I figure that you have to take it where you can get it. If I have to squeeze in some time together at 7am and get a needle stuck in my arm for it, it is all worth it just to have a few minutes with my husband. Plus, I have to admit I still appreciate someone holding my hand when I get a needle. Ok, DH isn't the hold the hand kind of guy, but he make a few smart remarks and at least I'll laugh while they're taking my blood.

This week blood dates, next week AARP. Where did the time go?

Last Minute Christmas Presents

2010-12-15T17:34:00.000-08:00

I've been busily trying to get ready for Christmas. This Christmas the budget is a little lean, so I've been trying to think a little outside the box. This gift actually cost me $0, as I already had all the supplies.

I was looking for Christmas ideas on the blogoshpere when I came by this. I spent some time perusing her website and was amazed by the talent Cathe had. In the case of these napkins, it was more like being reinspired because my birth-mother has given me some homemade napkins in the past, which I love, but I had never thought to make my own. This project was so easy that I think that I will be on the lookout for some more napkin like material. I also made the napkin rings which are just a combination of silver wire and glass and pearl beads. There is no patterns in the beads. I made three loops and then just twisted a long end several times around the three loops to tie it off. Simple but I think pretty.

Hints to Keep Your Sanity When You Start a New Job

2010-12-11T20:33:00.000-08:00

I have started a new job. I took a part-time 20 hour a week or so job, but right now they need a little more of my time so I have been working about 30 hours which certainly makes life a little tight with all of my other volunteering, homeschooling, and trying to continue to visit our former foster child and help my father (who lives about 1.5 hours away). So far I have found a few things has really helped keep me on track:

1. Lay out your clothes the night before.
2. Update the kids' chore chart and make sure that they keep up their end of the bargain.
3. Don't add any more responsibilities until you acclimate to the new schedule.
4. Be regimented when you are getting ready then you won't forget anything and the family will know what to expect.
5. Write out homeschool plans and set a scheduled time aside to review their work or go over new ideas.
6. Take advantage of mail order medications, direct deposit, etc. The more you can limit running around the more time you will have at home and prevent yourself from feeling like a spinning top.
7. Plan to share your child driving / responsibilities with your spouse.
8. Plan dinner before you leave in the morning. Take out any foods that need to defrost etc. Use the crock pot wisely.
9. Write your calendar out for the rest of the family so they know what to work around.
10. Use your time wisely. Plan out your trips to include several stops. Pre-post your blog. Multi-task i.e. review homework and wash dishes at the same time.

As I continue with this job, I'm sure that I will come by even more hint that I will pass along and if you have any, I would love to hear them.

Choosing the Perfect Christmas Tree

2010-12-08T04:13:00.000-08:00

In our family, choosing a Christmas Tree is a true art. It can take hours. People who have tree hunted with us have sworn that they will never go with us again because it can be such a painstaking process. This year's hunt was an exception. We did a lot of up front looking i.e. driving around, but once we got out and really looked for a specific tree, we accomplished our search in record time. If you want to see our antics and the final perfect tree. Check out A Cup of Tea with Mom and Me, the blog mostly maintained by DD but which I post on occasionally. She actually filmed, cut, and posted a little video of our tree hunting day. Fortunately, you do not have to drive around with us for the hours of searching out the perfect tree farm. You just get to see our success.

How to Plan an Alternative Market

2010-12-07T06:39:00.000-08:00

So many churches at this time of year hold craft fairs, but the church we have joined up here does something a little differently. Gina, the minister's wife, started a tradition of an Alternative Market. Vendors are invited to sell their wares as long as they are selling products that give 100% of their profit to support a non-profit. This year there were people selling jewelery for NEMI, items for the Senior Center, and candles for some organization I did not catch. There were booths with information on gifts that could be purchased from SHIN, Amnesty International, BAMS, our church's Carilon Fund, Church World Services, Heifer International, and probably a few that I didn't notice. Hopefully, next year we'll be able to recruit even more. I ran a booth that introduced people to KIVA loans which make a great Christmas gift especially for teenagers.

We set up in our Fellowship Hall area. Each vendor had a table which they could decorate as they pleased. Advertising was done in advance and signs were put out on the actual day. Gina put out some coffee, tea, and hot cocoa and put together a table where people could make ornaments if they liked. It was all fairly low key. This was the first year that I participated. DD did our booth last year as I was working. This year, she was busy and so I did it. Next year hopefully we can booth do it as it is a very worthwhile idea. The gifts you buy at an Alternative Marketplace give not just to the recipient of the gift but also to someone else in need. What a great way to remember the reason for the season.

Gingerbread Houses: A Tradition Not to Let Slip

2010-12-06T11:06:00.000-08:00

This week we continued a family tradition that we started when the kids were very young. Actually, I am unfairly taking credit for this. This is a tradition my husband brought to our family. We buy a basic gingerbread house kit (I suppose we could take this to the next level and make our own gingerbread, but the point of this is a holiday memory not holiday stress) and some extra decorations (i.e. shredded wheat, Necco candy, gum drops). Depending on the kit, we may make additional “frosting” with confectioner’s sugar and water. We also find it helpful to have a few canned goods to hold the house in place while the frosting dries. And then one night, we pull everything out and go at it. In our family, usually that means the kids and Dad do it. But this year, we brought the kit to visit our foster son. Z has been moved to residential living due to his needs, but we continue to see him and love him. This was an excellent project for all of us. Although clearly our children are getting a little older because this year’s house was resplendent with the traditional gingerbread men, gumdrops, and icing icicles but it also had a peppermint stick cannon, a gumdrop dragon, and a gumdrop alligator.

This tradition has offered me one of my all time “perfect” memories. Several years ago, the kids and my husband were making a house at the table and I was making Chex Mix in the kitchen. Christmas carols were playing in the background and the lights from the tree were twinkling. I remember pulling the Chex Mix from the stove and turning to put it on the counter. As I turned, I was filled with the feeling that this was it. This is what life is all about: perfect, simple, joyful.

I remember making gingerbread men myself as a child. I remember those little silver ball cake decorations that now sport a warning, “Do NOT consume. For decorative purposes only”. And I still like to decorate gingerbread men if I have a large group of children, but gingerbread houses are the perfect holiday family activity.

Holiday memories are not made by the gifts we receive but by the time we spend together.

TEST: I challenge you to remember 10 gifts you received over the course of your life. Now try to think of 10 Christmas memories. Which list was easier to make?

One of my kids' memories might be: the year their mother cut a snowflake out of a papertowel.

Christmas is a Season not a Day

2010-12-05T18:34:00.000-08:00

Boy, have we been busy with Christmas this weekend. Friday, we made gingerbread houses which you will see a post about tomorrow. Saturday, I worked at a Alternative Market (like a Christmas Bazaar) which I will post about later in the week, I picked up DD from a Girl Scout event, and then began the search for our Christmas Tree. And finally, today, we celebrated the second Sunday of Advent at church, had our second Christmas Pageant rehearsal (which I'm thrilled to say seems to be in good shape), found our Christmas tree, and have it fully decorated. Some people might think it a bit crazy, but I really like dragging out Christmas. I enjoy Advent. It is like when you savor a tasty candy in your mouth. If you chew it, the taste is gone in just one or two bites; but if you suck on it, the flavor lasts so much longer.

If you are looking for some ideas to spread Christmas out, check out my article posted over at Associated Content: Countdown to Christmas: 25 Family Friendly Ideas to Celebrate the Season. Keep your eye out to see all the other interesting things our family will do this holiday season and please let me know what you are doing.

Flannel Sheets are Best for a Cold Night

2010-12-04T05:18:00.000-08:00

You guys must have thought that I was crazy when I listed flannel sheets on my Thankful List last month. Well, that is everyone that doesn't have them. Oh, my goodness! I have never had flannel sheets before and last month I broke down at Wal-mart of all places and bought a pair. Let's be honest, money is tight. I needed sheets and flannel was the a really good price for a king sized bed. I think they were like $24.99 or so - no more than $30. They came in a little flannel box and are kind of red and green striped (which I thought would be cute for the holidays too).

When I put them on the bed, I was thrilled to have a new set of sheets, but I was not prepared for how wonderful it really was. Those sheets are so soft and so warm. In the winter, we keep the heat down, sometimes at night it will go down into the 50's in the house so warmth is a must. I used to sometimes find myself so cold that I would get up and add layers of clothes. In these sheets, I sometimes find myself sticking my foot out of the edge to cool down.

I love them so much, I may even run out and buy another set. Sometimes happiness comes in the little things.

Giving Thanks Challenge - Final Report

2010-11-30T18:37:00.000-08:00

1. Family 2. Freedom of political voice and vote3. My family's health4. Thanksgiving Day Wraps and Apples!5. My faith and my church.6. Breakfast with the family7. Wood Stove & Flannel Sheets8. creative juices9. Listening to my daughter read for Story Time10. Being born in the US11. All those who have sacrificed and died for our freedom12. Laughter - especially of small children13. Singing at OSV by candlelight14. Many hands to lighten the work load.15. A pen and paper16. new recipes to try17. books18. Cinnamon19. My car (but I would be more thankful for a transporter ; ) )20. My dad (and my mom who I miss dearly)21. Enough22. The internet23. A new job24. Christmas Carols25. a wonderful holiday meal26. fried clams at Lenny & Joe's27. suprise announcements28. hymnals29. loving dog & cat30. Scouts

Celebrating an Old Fashioned Christmas

2010-11-30T14:13:00.000-08:00

What are your traditions for the holidays? A new one the DD and I have added is singing at Old Sturbridge Village. As you know, we sing regularly with OSV, but Christmas at the Village is something extra special. If you happen to have an open December weekend, you may want to plan to attend OSV's Christmas by Candlelight.

Unfortunately, we are not pictured in this feature, but you can see what a wonderful experience you'll be in for. So I hope you'll put the shopping and holiday craziness aside to enjoy a few hours of nostalgia and beauty.

Feast or Famine Job Hunting

2010-11-28T17:04:00.000-08:00

Why can I look, look, look for a job, not get anything, and then suddenly get called in for two interiews in the same week. I was mortified to tell the second caller that I had already accepted a position at the first and I'm still not sure that I made the right decision. It is so hard to marry family needs with work needs. And the question is am I looking for a job or a career. Of course, how do you hold of one offer to find out about the other and if you do are you putting at risk the first. Unfortunately or fortunately, I am a very conservative person and believe in that old saying that "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush".

So think of me tomorrow morning as I start a new job and pray that I made the right choice.

Third Hand Smoke

2010-11-23T12:15:00.000-08:00

My son enlightened me on third hand smoke the other day. "Mom, do you know what third hand smoke is?"

"I'm not sure what you are talking about."

"First hand smoke is when you smoke yourself. Second hand is when you are breathing someone else's smoke. Third hand smoke is the smoke that emanates off of couches and other fabrics for days or months after someone has smoked."

I'm never sure where he comes up with this information. Lately, he's had all sorts of little nuggets from the John Tesh radio show which apparently he falls asleep to. Suddenly, he'll tell me about how drinking water helps you lose weight or that apples really keep the dentist away not the doctor. Dear Son has become just a wealth of knowledge.

Of course sadly, we unwillingly did an experiment on third hand smoke the other day after visiting my father. My dad had thoughtfully pulled all the yellow jelly beans out of his jelly beans since he knows they are DS's favorite (my father figures that since he doesn't eat vegetables, he can get his beans in other ways and dear dad stocks up on jelly beans at all times of the year.). So my son brought the jelly beans home in the container. When he opened the container in our smoke free house, we all almost gagged. The smell was absolutely overwhelming. My husband joked that now if we were missing Poppie we could just breathe in the canister. Of course, that is after he marched us all off to the shower to get the smoke out of our hair and clothes. So be warned, there is a new public health menace: third hand smoke.

It's Complicated - A Movie Review

2010-11-21T16:53:00.000-08:00

I was pleasantly surprised when my husband came home early last night. I didn't expect him until 10:00, but he arrived a little after 7:00pm. I had just turned a movie on, so I started it again so that we could both enjoy it.

I think we laughed almost all the way through it. Meryl Streep, Steve Martin, and Alec Baldwin were a perfect cast. And they got the rating right on this one. It is an "R" rating, but a real "R" and not a quasi "X". There was one butt shot and conversation I certainly would not want a young child to listen to, but all perfectly appropriate for an older teenager and adult. This is my kind of movie laughter, slice of life, and relationships. The only thing that would have made it a better movie night would have been a great glass of wine for me. Instead, hubby and I popped Jiffy popcorn on the wood stove and had a cup of coffee. (Did I mention we've been married for almost 20 years?)

So I highly recommend "It's Complicated" for you and your spouse, a group of women together, or a night when you are looking for something to do yourself.

The Leaf

2010-11-18T19:51:00.000-08:00

I watched you play
    all summer long.
I dangled up above.
    When the breeze blew,
             I quietly called your name.
But I, I was too high to play with you.
And so I watched, tethered above, dangling in the tree.

My colors changed as the cool winds blew.
And finally,
     I fluttered down.
I sit waiting now,
           waiting for you to play.
Please! Oh, please! Won't you come out and play?

My time here is short.
My colors are gone.
Soon I'll be swept away
    to deteriorate and decay.
Please! Oh, please! Come out to play!

Jump and pile.
Pile and jump.
Let me feel free for just one more day
                                       before I'm taken away.

Confession of Infidelity

2010-11-18T05:43:00.000-08:00

I must come clean. I have been unfaithful to my blog. Of course most bloggers are unfaithful to their blog. They and I enjoy writing so they post in many different places. If you would like to see some of my other work, you can check me out on Associated Content. A particular article that I thought you might enjoy is one I published yesterday called Favorite Children's Books to Read Out Loud. I hope that you will take a minute and check it out. Hopefully, you'll enjoy it enough to forgive my infidelity.

Recipe for Salisbury Steak

2010-11-17T05:24:00.000-08:00

What do you do when you don't have the right ingredients for a recipe? You improvise. Sometimes your efforts aren't so good, and sometimes you are pleasantly surprised. Here is the surprise that I got the other day. It was yummy. It is great with mashed potatoes and some fresh green beans.

Salisbury Steak

1 onion diced
8 oz mushrooms sliced
1 can condensed mushroom soup
2 lbs ground beef
1 cup Italian bread crumbs
1 egg
1 T flour
1/4 cup ketchup
1 cup water
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1 dash Gravy Master

Saute mushrooms and onions until softened. While sauteing, combine 1/3 cup soup with beef, crumbs, eggs. Shape into six to eight oval patties. Remove mushrooms and onions when done and put aside. In same pan, brown beef patties. While browning, mix remaining ingredients. Make sure gravy is smooth. After patties are browned on both sides, add gravy mix to pan. Cover and cook over low heat for 20 minutes or until cooked as desired. Stir occasionally during cooking process.

Sometimes not having what you need causes you to be a little more ingenious.

Be Sure to Empty Your Pockets

2010-11-16T06:24:00.001-08:00

Oopsie. I left a pen in the dirty clothes. Wait, let me clarify. The pen wasn’t mine and it wasn’t in my clothes. I just failed to extract it before I put my husband’s clothes in the wash. I think it actually faired the washer fairly well. The drier on the other hand is not so attractively white anymore and we won’t even discuss what the clothes look like.

Unfortunately this is not my first time washing something I shouldn’t, but somehow I am not encouraged to be any more careful. You would think that I would diligently check the pockets, but it is my firm belief that the person putting the clothes in the basket should do that. Doing laundry is mundane enough without having to add another step; and so I’m sure there will be more washed pens, rocks, receipts and wallets in my future. I can only hope that it will also mean a few spare dollars and quarters so I can repair the damage I’m doing.

If you’re wondering why the people putting the laundry don’t check their pockets, don’t waste your time. I think they believe in the laundry fairy.

When Do You Put Up Your Christmas Lights

2010-11-14T18:47:00.000-08:00

Is it November or December? I am shocked at how many people have Christmas lights out already. Don't get me wrong. I love Christmas and Christmas lights, but November 14th. What is it about our culture that we are always looking forward to something bigger and better as opposed to enjoying where we are currently? Are they going to celebrate Thanksgiving? or just zoom right by to Christmas? I'd like to think that extending the holiday allows them to enjoy it more, but I have the feeling that it probably just brings more stress (and I'm sure an even larger electric bill).

When do you put up your Christmas lights?

No more toilet paper tubes

2010-11-14T00:07:00.000-08:00

Have you heard? Kimberly-Clark has announced that they will be removing toilet paper tubes from their toilet paper. Technically, apparently they are called cores, but you know what I am talking about: the cardboard center of the toilet paper roll.

Apparently, toilet paper tubes, according to Kimberly-Clark's October 28th press release, toilet paper cores account for 160 million pounds of waste. Of course my question is not why we are taking it out, but why didn't someone think of this earlier? And does this mean we are going to have less expensive toilet paper since this part is being removed? And of course most importantly, how are we going to do all those Kindergarten crafts?

My next question is, when will someone be innovative enough to do the same thing with paper towel rolls?

How to study spelling with the kids

2010-11-13T06:23:00.000-08:00

I found an online free spelling program that you all may enjoy. Spelling City allows you to enter your own spelling words or to use preset lists that they have and then you have three choices: learn, play, test. The games are mostly for younger / middle age children, but frankly could be a fun way to practice spelling words at any age. If your child, like my son, hates spelling practice, this may be the answer:

Sarah Palin the next Ronald Reagan?

2010-11-12T08:51:00.000-08:00

So after my post about Sarah Palin's TLC show yesterday, I sat down with my son to watch a movie. My father had given me a history movie to watch with the kids. I thought for some reason that it was about WWII, but it turned out to be about Ronald Reagan. The topic still fit my need for a little Social Studies so we watched anyway.

The film was actually Ronald Reagan: Rendezvous with Destiny hosted by Newt and Callista Gingrich. I cannot even tell you what a great retrospective it was on his life, his character, and all he accomplished. There were a few points I actually found myself crying. But as I was watching it, I found myself thinking of my post about Palin. Her renegade and rough and tumble attitude seemed mightily reflected in Reagan. I even learned that between Reagan's first run for presidency (He lost the primary to Barry Goldwater) and his second, Reagan hosted a radio show, which the commentators noted may have led to his win in the second election because the electorate was so familiar with Reagan and his ideals. See I wasn't wrong in my comment yesterday "genius or insane", maybe I should have just left it at genius.

Certainly there are a fair share of differences too, but Reagan and Palin come from a similar ideology and both have a bit of a take it or leave it attitude. Wouldn't it be great to have another great president? One that we could really be proud of and admire?

One of the most interesting comments about Reagan was that many people thought of him being from the far right, but that he actually governed from center right. And he was not afraid to cross the isle to get things accomplished, but knew when to stand his ground. I think in Sarah's background we can surely see that this is her way.

Could Sarah be our Reagan again? I figure it won't be too long before the race begins again and we'll see.

Sarah Palin - Future President or TV Celebrity

2010-11-11T05:15:00.000-08:00

I have to admit that when John McCain chose Sarah Palin as his running mate I did not know much about her but I quickly became an admirer. I liked the renegade attitude. I appreciated her willingness to take on the status quo. And frankly, I was very exited about setting up a possible female presidency, especially with someone who seemed so down to earth. I was very saddened to see how the Republican handlers handled Sarah and her family, and I felt very angry at the way the media treated them. I really hoped the McCain / Palin ticket was going to pull it out but to no avail. But I continued to follow Palin hoping that we would see her reemerge for the next Presidential election. Then she resigned as governor of Alaska. I was dumbfounded and figured that she had basically committed political suicide. It was difficult enough that she was only a one term governor and people were already questioning her leadership ability, but to quit. I pretty much wrote her off the political scene at that time. I was interested in her involvement in the Tea Party but saw her more as a celebrity spokesman than a "candidate".

But then I read, ok, actually heard, Sarah Palin's Going Rogue, which as I had hoped, explained why she stepped down as governor. She explained further how she had become paralyzed as a government official. How law suits were pouring into the state and attacks on her government were jamming the cogs. This certainly did not excuse her in my eyes but helped with the understanding. My hope for her and 2012 wast starting to reignite.

Then yesterday I sat down to see if OnDemand had my 19 kids and Counting episode. As I plugged through "Life and Home", then to "TLC", I saw it - Sarah Palin's Alaska.

WHAT? The Palin Family was becoming TLC's newest reality TV family. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? It is an eight week series in which the Palin family is supposed to introduce us to Alaska. Now I can't figure out if this is genius or insanity. It is supposed to get us to know the family better and show us that Sarah is not a diva, but I think this may just be too much knowing. if she does run after this and wins, what does this say about the US electorate? Is the presidency becoming a popularity contest? A beauty pageant? Do we choose our president based on issues or a great smile?

Of course, having said all that I do have to tell you that I will be tuning into TLC for Sarah Palin's Alaska and there is still a part of me that looks forward to seeing:

http://www.zazzle.com/sarah_palin_for_president_2012_poster-228135818804125228

Making Homemade Pizza

2010-11-10T12:27:00.000-08:00

It is the day before grocery shopping and the cupboards are bare. Ok, not that bare, but some combinations would make interesting meals. So I have decided to make some homemade pizza. For years that meant that I would revert to Amy Dacyczyn's Tightwad Gazette version, but DH has found that he prefers King Arthur Flour's version just a bit more. (Frankly, I still like Amy's more due to the time constraints, but today I had the extra time.) Hopefully, it will be even tastier when I add the tomato sauce that I made the other day.

Lately, it seems I am cooking something up in the kitchen everyday. We made Aunt Florence's Irish soda bread to bring to book club on Monday and Charlotte's molasses cookies for church on Sunday. In fact, I was thinking that it is time to start making up recipe books for the kids. DD will be 16 and DS will be 14. Part of me would like to think that they won't move out for years, but the other part knows that it will be in the blink of an eye. I think that one of the gifts that I would like to send them off with is a compilation of our favorite recipes. Certainly, this will not be a one day project so perhaps I should start now.

Ironically, DD was touting her cooking skills just the other day to a friend who wasn't even sure how to boil water for pasta. I thought "woo-hoo," as she was walking her friend through the steps of making dinner,"at least DD won't starve to death when she is on her own." I thought of some of my first meals that even the dog wouldn't touch.

I know for sure that I will put the homemade pizza dough recipe in their cookbooks. What family recipes do you wan to pass down to your children?

Jim Henson's Prodigy

2010-11-08T10:05:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I worry so much about my son. Reading and writing are still such a challenge for him. He has improved exponentially, but it is still an up hill battle. But then he does something like this:

Just some Sculpey and an imagination. He started with a need to create a hamburger and all its fixin's and then he got into these little characters.

Looking at them all I could think of was the Muppets. What do you do with a creative mind like this? How do you grow it from play to art / stage? I know the first step is to let it flourish and grow without being stomped on which we have allowed, but now how do we give it the light and nourishment to offer him stability and earnings in the future?

Discussing Death with Children

2010-11-07T16:35:00.000-08:00

I'm not 100% sure how I ended up with the responsibility of discussing death with our Sunday School students, but today that was my charge. As this is the first Sunday following All Saints Day, the topic was discussing family and friends that had passed. Fortunately, our new curriculum, the Whole People of God, had a terrific plan to cover the issue.

Since many of our children are very young, I was very nervous about how they were going to react to the subject. Unfortunately, our poor little kids have lost far too much in their lives and each of them had lost someone close to them. One family had even lost a sister. This sad truth didn't bring a depressing bend to the conversation, but instead uplifted us all. These little ones had a better understand / acceptance of death than most of us adults. Part of the object lesson that the curricula suggested included the use of a rock and a feather. The rock represented sadness. The feather represents a light heart knowing that your loved one was with God. The kids understood the sadness, tears, and heaviness; but I was concerned that they would not understand the happiness that can also be associated with death. I cautiously asked why we might feel happy for someone that died. I waited for some Smart Alec to say that they were happy because they didn't like the person anyway, but none said that. The kids understood right away. They knew that we could be happy because our loved one was now with God.

Even more special is that they knew how to keep a loved one alive. They understood that we could share our loved ones with others through stories, that we can remember them through activities that we once shared together, and that we can keep our loved one alive through memories.

While I went into this class nervous about broaching such a difficult subject, I left class blessed to have seen God shine through little angels. Clearly, they were more in touch with the flow of life than most adults.

"The LORD is my shepherd;

I shall not want.

He makes me to lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside the still waters.

He restores my soul;

He leads me in the paths of righteousness

For His name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil;

For You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me." 23 Psalm: 1-4 (KJV)

Didgeirdoo

2010-11-06T16:25:00.000-07:00

Some people say that homeschoolers can be a bit odd and in most cases I would argue that this is a stereotype, but today I will have to admit that we are a bit wierd. My son, who is two weeks shy of 14, has been playing a faux didgeridoo. He found that blowing in the wrapping paper core makes and interesting noise and that depending on the length and diameter of the core, he can get different sounds. Most kids would be fascinated by this for about 10 minutes. We are now pushing days!

Abundance of Apples

2010-11-05T10:21:00.000-07:00

Ok, what do you do with a bushell and a half of apples when you bought them for Halloween and have most of them left over?

An apple pie is obvious, and I did make one for the family. However, that only accounted for 5 cups out of a lot, lot more.

So, I just kept going. I didn't make whole pies, but just the insides. I read up on freezing pies and people were very positive about multiple ways to do it. I opted for space reasons to just do the insides of the pies. They are mixed according to the recipe and then frozen.

When I am ready to make the pies, I will take them out, thaw them, put them in the pie shell, and cook normally. Given all the extra apples we have, our family should be having pie about twice a month through spring. Would you like to come for dessert?

Note: If you are wondering why I bought so many, I must confess that I have a condition that requires me to over cook for company, over plan our trips, and over purchase for any activity that I am not 100% sure of the number of people attending. And frankly I think this is a fairly common female affliction.

Time is Relative - Einstein's Theory of Relativity

2010-11-03T08:08:00.000-07:00

Einstein theorized that time is not a constant like we think of it. There are ways to "adjust" the speed of time. Most people believe that this theory is important to physicists, astronauts, etc., but that it doesn't really apply to themselves. When are we going to loop around the sun or surpass the speed of light? But I think this theory has a lot more relevance than we give it credit for. For average people, we don't have to worry about "actual" changes in time, but perceived changes in time. For example, why when we are in times of extreme stress does time slow down and seconds seem eternal? Why when we are doing something we enjoy does time speed by? Why is realizing that our perception of time is important? Because we have one life. Do we want our life to speed by or would you like to savor it?

How does time speed away? I find that we schedule it away. Today for example, I am working on Advent and the Christmas Pageant. How can I enjoy November if I'm already thinking of December? I have harnessed this over scheduled beast a bit in my life, but somehow he still gets away from me once in a while. But harnessing him, was a challenge, and it continues to be a challenge to keep him under control. I find minimizing my schedule to be helpful. Also, truly being in the moment to be the other secret. If I am cooking, then I should be fully cooking and not thinking of the ten other things on my mind. This is certainly a challenge especially for a mother, homeschooler, and community activist, but it is possible.

Today, challenge yourself to slow down. I don't mean to take smaller steps, but let time slow.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." NIV Matthew 6:34

Don't Forget to Vote

2010-11-02T05:06:00.000-07:00

Did you hear me! Stop watching!!!

Go Vote!

Giving Thanks Challenge

2010-11-01T18:13:00.000-07:00

How funny it is when things happen near each other. I believe synchronicity would be the term. Well, just after I posted earlier today, DD introduced me to the Giving Thanks Challenge. I think giving thanks is another great way to lift your spirits; so I have decided to join this challenge and I hope you will consider joining too. My list will be located in my right sidebar. Each day, you will see a little more of my thankfulness. I look forward to seeing all that you are grateful for. We are all well blessed. Sometimes, we just need to remember to look around to find the blessings. My first blessing is my family.

Doing Good = Feeling Good

2010-11-01T17:00:00.000-07:00

Do you have those friends that seem like depression is their friend? They just don't seem happy unless they are complaining? I swear Facebook has made this even worse. Some people have turned complaining into an art form. I think that they are bolstered by the people that post supportive comments, but the positive comments don't actually seem to encourage the people to change: it just encourages them to complain even more.

My husband is fascinated by one of our friends who begs for Friday every Monday. Not once in a while, but every single week. We've decided that if life is really that bad then maybe it is time to move on and change your life so that Monday is a good day. Hating 1/7th of your life is not the way to live.

Then there is a certain family member that tells us how awful life is: how tired, uncomfortable, and out of shape he is. At least once a day, among the many, many posts we are reminded how bad his life is. We started by trying to be supportive, but clearly he doesn't want or just can't accept help.

So, I'm not sure if my post the other day was in response to this negativity, but my post was "Doing good = Feeling Good". This is a sentiment that I not only espouse but live. This weekend for example, DD and I worked a blood drive on Friday. Saturday, we visited our former foster child. Sunday, we wrapped Operation Christmas Child boxes in the morning and then returned to church to hand out Halloween Fair Trade Candy. All and all it was an amazing weekend.

I think that doing good and helping others is better than any anti-depressant out there. The power of one making a difference is almost intoxicating. And I'm always reminded that one + one = even more good work getting done. The only thing better than doing good work yourself is doing good work with others.

I hope that you will find a way to help others and then you can post about it so that we can all be uplifted to do more.

Anti-Bullying Campaign

2010-10-29T07:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I sat through a seminar on bullying. Most of the information was common sense stuff, but the general consensus was that the difference between bullying today and years ago is that today there is no end to it. If you are bullied at school, you are not safe once you get home. The bullying continues through IM's, texts, and FaceBook posts. Kids don't feel that they can block friends or just not respond to such attacks and therefore the bullying continues relentlessly.

One of the best things that I got out of the seminar was this terrific book:

The book was adorable and not only encouraged kids to stand up for one another, but ended by letting the bully back down and become one of them too.

Of course as I was listening to the whole bully spiel, I had this anonymous quote running through my head:

"Hillary Clinton once said that it takes a village to raise a child. Well, I've seen the village and I don't want them raising my child."

Homeschooling certainly doesn't mean that our children won't be bullied. In fact, in some ways it may increase the odds of them being targets. However, being homeschooled can reduce the relentlessness of it.

Decorating Dilema

2010-10-27T09:48:00.000-07:00

I keep looking in my kitchen nook thinking that I should put a small table there:

and then I swing my head 180 degrees and look at the kitchen counter.

Oh, no! The family does not need another place to dump things. I really must ask, "Why does a jacket belong on the kitchen counter?" Mind you I have a mud room with hooks for coats, there is another one not 10 feet farther, another set of hooks at the top of the cellar, and goodness forbid, they walk the 25 feet to the actual closet. What is it about empty flat spaces in a house that calls for people to fill it? I think I'll leave the other corner to the animals.

Picking Out Christmas Cards Already

2010-10-26T19:35:00.001-07:00

I know it is a little early, but not too early. There is now less that two months to the big day - - - dare I say it - - - -Christmas. I happen to be writing an article about Christmas cards and I came by a website that I thought you all might find interesting:

Cards That Give

This website lists the many charities that have holiday cards for sale. In addition, the site advises you if they use recycled stock, how much the charity receives from the sale, and if you can claim any portion deductible. Cards That Give was founded on a simple principle: imagine all the good we could do if just a portion of our $2 million dollar Christmas card frenzy was aimed to non-profits.

So if you are not planning to make your own cards this year, consider surfing over to their site and finding a card that will give twice as much holiday cheer.

A Woman's Weekend Alone

2010-10-25T10:16:00.000-07:00

Ok, all you people looking for a description of a wild, sexy weekend of partying based on this title, I suggest that you surf on, you will find no such article here. All of you mom's who think that you will never have one minute to yourself ever again, read on. This weekend was a first in our house. DH took both of the kids camping and I was left home alone with the the animals (thus the Movies that Make You Cry entry). I had an entire weekend to myself. Granted Sunday, I walked with 20,000 other people in the Rays of Hope Breast Cancer Walk, but the rest of the weekend was mine. You are probably thinking that this sounds heavenly. What you wouldn't do just to be able to go to the bathroom without someone knocking on the door. Let me tell you, it was ........................................................HORRIBLE!

Yes, there were enjoyable points. I watched a couple of chick flicks. I got a lot of writing done. I didn't have to fight for the remote or my blankets. I didn't have to cook and there were practically no dishes. But there was no laughter, no snuggling, no reason to make dinner, and no kisses goodnight. I found myself aching for them to come home. I missed my daughter prattling on and my son's bear hugs. I wandered around the house wondering what I am ever going to do when they grow a little older and move out. I felt serious empathy for my father who lives alone now and could not imagine enduring this boredom day in and day out for weeks, months, years.

So, I advise all you mothers who think you will never have another solitary uninterupted thought to appreciate it. It will not be long until your little ones are out of the house, until their social calendars are busier than yours, until not only do you have a moment to breathe but seriously unending silence. On those days, you'll miss the knocks, the laughter, and even the dishes.

I'm so glad that today they are home!

Movies that make you cry

2010-10-23T09:03:00.000-07:00

It seems impossible when your kids are little that you will ever sit home without a single child calling your name, but it indeed will happen one day. For me, that day is today. The house is quiet and I'm curled up with just the animals, my computer, and a stack of movies.

I just finished Love Comes Softly and an entire box of tissues. What a beautiful, simple love story. Filmed by Michael Landon, Jr., I could almost imagine his father, Michael Landon, sitting in the wagon instead of Dale Midkiff.

I so enjoy movies like this: no blood and guts, no bare butts or breasts, no foul language. I'm not a prude, but I'm sick of movies these days that I have to cover my 15 year old daughter's eyes or movies that bring even more evil into a world that has enough horrors of its own. I appreciate movies that show love, compassion, and positive morals. Even more, as a Christian, I appreciate the characters quietly espousing Christain values and tenants. I look forward to even more movies like this one. I think there is actually a large number of people looking for entertainment just like this.

October is Fire Protection Month

2010-10-22T16:47:00.000-07:00

If you didn't know, October is also Fire Protection month. There are just a few things that you can do around your house that can save your or your family member's life:

Test your fire alarms
Change batteries if needed
Review your escape plan with your family
Have a fire alarm drill
Make sure that extinguishers are still where they are supposed to be and that they are charged

Ironically, my smoke alarms were apparently aware of this impending "celebration" and decided to call out in joy all on their own. The tricky part is that our fire alarms are interconnected so sometimes it becomes a challenge to know exactly which alarm is setting off the others. Plus, to add to the excitement the sound terrifies our Bernese Mountain Dog who begins running around the house whining. And as usual when they act up, they either decide to do like today as we are trying to run out the door or at 2 am.

I can only hope that I found the culprit and changed the batteries in the right alarm. I also took the preventive measure which many people overlook and vacuumed out the alarm too.

Homeschooling Home Economics

2010-10-20T10:46:00.000-07:00

As the kids are getting older homeschooling is morphing. While we still have our core curriculum, their interests and desires mold our learning schedule to a much greater degree. This week we were very lucky that DD's desires including cooking. I almost think that I have taught her too well and so when she hears the wants and desires of someone, she tries to fulfill them. This week that meant cupcakes and a pumpkin pie and next month, Irish soda bread. One friend of hers from the library complained that her birthday had been kind of pushed aside and forgotten; thus, the cupcakes. Then at our libraries auction, the director lost the raffle for the pumpkin pie that was offered, so DD had to offer to make her one (homemade crust and everything). Of course if you make a pie for someone else, there is an unwritten rule that you must make one for the family. The kids instituted this rule when I made pies for the church dinners. This was the first time I got to be the recipient of the rule.

Watching her cook and successfully complete these yummy items really made me feel confident about her future. I know it sounds silly in this day and age, but being able to cook and have some wifely skills is a good thing (even if she chooses never to be a wife, she will appreciate these skills herself). There are a lot of useless things I learned in school: facts, figures, and formulas that I will never ever use again in my life, but homemaking skills I use everyday and am thankful to those that taught me. Sometimes we can get so politically correct in this country we loose some important information along the way.

I have heard from the director who says I should give her an "A" for the pie. And please don't tell DD about the facts and figures part. She tries to get out of math work as it is.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month or Breast Cancer Action Month

2010-10-19T10:01:00.000-07:00

This is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Everyone is turning everything pink and posting cancer support statements on their Facebook pages, but who is taking real action.

Instead of taking the 10 minutes to change your blog background, do a self breast exam. Directions are here, but how you do it isn't as important as doing it regularly and notifying your doctor of any changes.

Instead of wearing a cute pink lapel pin, how about tying up your sneakers and participating in one of the many Breast Cancer Walks planned. I myself am planning to participate in one this weekend with my church. If you can't walk yourself but would like to sponsor my walk, you can visit here.

Instead of putting it off again, set a date to get your mammogram done.

Instead of positing a frivolous Breast Cancer post on Facebook, learn a new fact to help reduce your odds of getting breast cancer and share that with your friends.

How about just get off the computer entirely and get some exercise ; The fact I learned today is that with as little as four hours of exercise a week, you can reduce your chances of getting breast cancer.

Let's change this month from just awareness to action.

Something to Consider as You Buy Your Halloween Candy

2010-10-18T09:27:00.000-07:00

Sometimes a little information can be dangerous. Why? Because once you know about something, you can't forget it and you can't go on as if you didn't know it. Thus, the saying "ignorance is bliss". If you want to remain in bliss and buy inexpensive Halloween candy, don't watch this. If you want to be educated and understand the true cost of your candy, click play.

What did you think? Did this surprise you? What are you going to do now?

Homeschooling through high school

2010-10-13T04:44:00.000-07:00

You would think by 10th grade all the homeschooling decisions had been made. Obviously, we are homeschooling and we did decide to continue throughout high school, so what else is there to do. . .Ah, college testing. This very morning DD is taking her PSAT's.

I don't know about you but choosing homeschooling over public schooling for day to day education became a clear cut decision, but I have always been nervous about how this choice would affect the ability of my children to get into college. Certainly colleges are much more open to homeschoolers than previously, but as a parent we don't want to do anything that will inhibit our children from reaching their dreams. It seems as we reach the high school age, I am faced with these decisions quite frequently:

Does she take the standardized testing?
Do we enroll in college early?
Should she get her GED?
How carefully do I keep her transcript?
Do we adhere to the traditional standards of four years of English, two years of a foreign language, etc?

Eeeek! Each of these answers may make or break choices that she wants to make in the future. I have scoured many homeschooling books, talked to homeschoolers, read blogs, and even talked to college admissions officers, but it seems everyone has a slightly different opinion of how you "have to do it". So we are left back where we were just trying to make the best decisions that we can. And so as I said, today she is taking her PSAT's.

I must tell you that as we were studying for this test, I remembered all the reasons that I object to traditional schooling. This test isn't testing your knowledge; it is testing your test taking ability. There are 500 page books to teach you all the hints and tricks they use on these tests. And we won't even get into the idea of timing a test. But we decided to go this route, because one, it gives her an opportunity for the National Merit Scholarship and two, I think for some schools the SAT's are still very important, especially for a homeschooler who cannot show traditional grades. Now we may get farther along this path and start taking college classes at the community college which will allow her to transfer to a state school and therefore invalidate the whole SAT process, but then I figure, what is the harm.

Homeschooling through high school should probably be renamed to homeschooling into college. On the positive side, DD's own accomplishments during high school will hopefully speak louder than any official transcript. The trick will be to find an admissions officer who is willing to listen (and a pocketbook to pay the bill ; ) ).

How do our children grow from little girls to young women?

2010-10-12T09:14:00.000-07:00

How do you know when you children are growing up? You know when you go to a wedding and they are no longer dancing with Dad, uncles, and grandfathers. You know when you can see boys checking her out and one obviously crushed when she danced with another. When did this happen? When did she go from a cute little girl dancing on her daddy's feet to a young woman. I swear I only blinked and she is all grown up.

Weight Loss Secret

2010-10-08T06:45:00.000-07:00

We have a beautiful Bernese Mountain Dog, Max. He is a runt for a Berner, but is beautifully colored and according to the vet weighs just the right amount. According to her, you should be able to feel the animals ribs but not see them. The interesting thing is that Max has a ton of extra skin. You can pull up gobs of it. He seems to need a tummy tuck very badly. Of course with all of his hair, you would never notice. So the question is how can a dog that eats constantly and sleeps in any of his spare time have such a svelt figure.

Yesterday, I realized the answer: his tail is in constant motion. We actually sometimes call him Flip because that is all his tail does: flip, flip, flip. So I'm thinking that this is the dog equivalent to the person who can stop shaking his leg or tapping his hands. Maybe if I start to become figitty, I too can become fit and sexy.

Book Review - A Million Little Pieces

2010-08-30T16:08:00.000-07:00

Ok, in this book I got as close as I want to get to understanding the mind set of a drug addict. Unfortunately in my life I have been around an alcoholic and a drug addict. Far too many times, I wondered what was going on in their mind as they created chaos around them. I could see the effect of their behaviors, but I could never understand their perspective. This book, A Million Little Pieces, gave me some insights into what may have been going on in their mind. Written by James Frey, A Million Little Pieces, is his own experience in survival. The book encompasses his life during drug rehab at age 23. It retells his break from addiction and intertwines a forbidden love affair. Can you recover while you break all the rules?

The jagged writing and repeated, contorted phrases help to bring you into his shattered world. The knotted scribbles between book sections mirror the confused life his addiction has created. The story will repulse you, sicken you, and scare you. However, the fact that the author is writing this book after recovering is an inspiration to anyone dealing with addiction. I'm not sure that an addict could have come from a deeper, darker place and have survived.

If you do read this book, be sure to read the very end where James reports on updates of the other characters. It tells you more about the reality of recovery than one may wish to know. In my cases, one ultimately died after developing a terminal illness that has heavy drinking as a contributory factor, and the other seems to be in a balanced place today, but goes through cycle after cycle of continued abuse. We can only hope and pray that he will continue to fight the monster like James Frey has.

Note: In my experience, unlike James', AA is a very important part of recovery and even if the addict doesn't want to participate, loved ones can and should. Al-Anon and Alateen can help you set boundaries and save you from a parallel destruction.

Did you send in your homeschool request?

2010-08-24T10:33:00.000-07:00

Ahhh, it is that time of year again. In Massachusetts, we are required to send in our yearly plan for authorization to homeschool our children. I can't even tell you how much this concept irks me. I figure when the public schools drop out rate is 0 and each child is working at grade level then they can come critic how I school my children. But unfortunately, the law is the law and while I believe that there are times that one might want to ignore laws that are immoral or unethical, I'm thinking that this is not one of those times (actually most of my thought on ignoring laws is theoretical since I'm a pretty law abiding citizen).

I find writing the plan very difficult as we are very eclectic in our philosophy and while we use the Alpha Omega series as our base, we use a ton of other resources and change our plans based on current events, interests, or just on a whim. This makes mapping out our course rather difficult. As I am a truth teller by nature, I am so worried that what I write is carved in stone and feel guilty that perhaps I will not do exactly what I set out. I try to keep everything very brief, but still give them enough to review.

When I finally finalized it and stuck it in the mail, all I could think is that I miss the homeschooling freedoms in Connecticut where I just withdrew the children from school and took the responsibility on myself with no oversight from the system that had caused me to pull them out in the first place. I also wonder exactly what the schools up here do with these forms when they arrive in the Superintendent's office. Do they just join multiple others in a pile to be filed and matched with our end of the year report? Do they even review them? What would make our request a concern? What have I put that makes it go through?

I will give you one hint, if you are in the same boat with us and have to do a request and an end of the year report:

Start your end of the year report immediately. Open up a Word document. Save the document with the name "End of Year Report - 2010/11 (or whatever year it is)." Label each page with your child's name. Write down what you are doing and what you've done. Do this frequently throughout the year. Where have you gone on trips? What service have they given the community? What books have they read? What workbooks have they finished? Include anything that you think is interesting. If you do this multiple times throughout the year, the final report with practically write itself. I even find this part personally gratifying because I get to see a big picture view of what we have accomplished.

If anyone else has suggestions on these reports, I am all ears.

Time

2010-08-22T17:12:00.000-07:00

Time
clicked away in even moments
on the mantle clock

Time
speeding through the calendar
April, June, December 25th

Time
slowed to sluggish seconds
savored on the pond

Time
The hour glass
half full . . .half gone

Time
an uneven measure
of a day, of a moment, of a life

Tricking the kids into learning

2010-04-26T11:19:00.000-07:00

Ok, I know, it's not nice to trick people; but I hope in this case perhaps you will excuse me and that the ends justify the means. Our newest addition comes to our family with many issues: one of which I call lack of cultural knowledge. By cultural knowledge, I don't mean and understanding of different cultures, but just a general understanding of knowledge that would be expected of another person of the same age. So I have set about a plan to slowly break some of this down. Unfortunately, DS2 is a typical child who thinks all learning is dumb and boring (Boy, did he get thrown into the wrong family - we are not likely to perpetuate this belief long). So despite not quite knowing what is going on or understanding quite what we are talking about half the time, he still insists on watching mindless cartoons and trying to avoid anything that seems to have any possibility of learning involved. While somewhat jealous that the other two kids don't go to school, he is happy not to have "lessons" of his own or so he thinks. . .

During his school vacation this week, I started by playing Borderline card game with him.

I just played it up as a new game that I wanted to try out. We could try a few hands before we went on to Skip-bo. Did you know by the way that Columbia is that capital of South Carolina AND also the name of another country? Did you also know that West Virginia was an actual state and not just a directional portion of Virginia itself? Do you know how small Rhode Island really is?

Then another day, I connivingly took out the Odyssey III talking globe

and played a round. Quickly, it wasn't my turn any more and he took right over. You can only imagine the shocking information that this globe possessed: Equatorial New Guinea was near the Equator, Argentina was in South America, and Ireland was near England.

Finally, I tucked in some Brain Quest cards in the backseat of the car.

He is quizzing me non-stop.

Hmmmm! Do you think I should tell him that he's learning?

PS If you have any more games to recommend, I'd love to hear about them. I figure this kind of learning is equivalent to when my mother used to put my medicine in jam: it was too sweat to be something good for you.

Cons of Community Service

2010-04-21T10:34:00.000-07:00

How you are raised can change your perception on life. I'm sure this statement doesn't surprise you, but I was surprised to see how pervasive it was the other day when the boys were discussing working with their Boy Scout troop to clean up garbage along the road. My biological son, who has been raised with a strong sense of community involvement, was excited to work on this project. He finds most things with the Boy Scouts fun and is fairly environmentally aware. My foster son, who has been bounced from house to house primarily in the city, thought the idea of getting together to pick up garbage to be the stupidest idea he had ever heard. He immediately associated it with being in trouble. You are only forced to clean up an area when a court mandates it. Fortunately, he relented, went, and had a grand time; but, his comments stuck. If he relates helping with court and consequences, who else does.

My family and I have always enjoyed helping others. We find that we receive far more than we give and I must admit, that we feel powerful when we do help. It is amazing how much one person can accomplish. So to think of community service as a negative was shocking to me, but certainly an interesting commentary on our society. I would be interested to see if others from his background feel the same. Certainly, the courts purpose is assigning community service is to repay what the guilty party took from society and also for them to see that their actions can have a positive impact. Perhaps though, what we are teaching is that community service is boring, troublesome, and something that it is to be left to people who misbehave. Hmmm! I don't think this is setting up a very positive association and may set the stage for complacency and future community inaction. I'm not sure what we should use as punishment for those who break the law and are being charged with community service, but maybe we better take a minute to discuss the message that we are sending when we do so.

Book Review - The Lost Symbol

2010-04-19T19:27:00.000-07:00

I must ask what everyone thinks is the proper distance between book club meetings. I have this strange problem that no matter when they seem to be placed apart that I either read it too early or start cramming it in at the end. This month though I pulled a doosey: I read the first part of the book club book, but then had the opportunity to read The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown.

I could not refuse the opportunity. I had meant to bring my book club book when we traveled down to my father's but forgot it (this may have been a subconscious avoidance system at work); so I had to borrow a book and guess what he got for Christmas.

I have got to tell you how much I love Dan Brown's books. They are not great literature, but boy are they fun to read. I love solving the mystery along with Robert Langdon (who by the way after watching Angels & Demons and The DaVinci Code has turned into Tom Hanks in my mind). I love getting lost between fiction and truth and digging through encyclopedias to try to find the line between the two. I love to read a book and not want to put it down. This time I particularly loved his nod to one of his earlier books, Digital Fortress.

I strongly suggest you pick up this book. It may be his best yet. You just may not want to put off reading your book club book. I guess though that now I'll have to pick mine back up . . .unless, someone has a better book selection?

Without Wax,
Dawn

Perhaps I should call it "just call me slave"

2010-04-16T08:11:00.000-07:00

Time seem to be speeding by. I don't think I've seen a news cast in months. I know I haven't picked up a needle and thread (except to sew on a button on some one's pants) since before Christmas. And I'm seriously behind in posting. I'm beginning to think my new blog should be called "Just call me Slave" instead of "Just call me Woman". You would not think adding one child could take up so much time, but wow - time seems to slip through like water in a colander.

I often think back to the activity that our trainers shared with us in MAPP class about rejuvenating ourselves and making sure that we can fill ourselves up so that we can fill up our foster child, but the question is "When?". When should I do this? By 8:00 pm I'm yawning wondering when bedtime is. How can I rejuvenate when I can't even get my chores done?

I steal moments to read as I wait in doctor's waiting rooms or as I am waiting for school to get out. I've even reverted back to books and magazines in the bathroom (just 5 minutes please).

I was hoping to get a rare treat this weekend when DH and the boys were traveling to go Cod Fishing in RI. DD and I were all set to have an all girls weekend. We even took out four movies, have our books stacked, and have the recipe for a great foot bath. But the Cod fishing trip is now questionable, clouds are looming on the horizon and waves are rising in the sea. The boat may not go out. I don't think I have ever been so disappointed in a cancelled trip - especially one I'm not even going on. My husband is not sure what to make of my excitement for his absence, but truthfully it is not his absence that I'm looking forward to: It is the freedom to do some of the things I enjoy doing if only for the weekend.

If any of you know the anti-rain dance, please start dancing now. The slave wants a weekend off.

Jenga game to teach about strengthening our family

2010-03-13T14:20:00.000-08:00

We have been having a very hard time with DS2 matching his vocal tone with his actual feelings. He is pretty uninhibited about what he will say and he will often say even innocuous items in a very harsh tone. This can grate on one's soul far quicker than one would expect. So we decided to play a game with him. Everyone was given Jenga blocks and the rule was that if you made a positive comment in a positive voice, you could add a block. If you made a neutral comment in a neutral voice, you would neither add nor subtract. If you used a harsh voice or said something mean, then you would remove a block. A rule was made that no negative comments could be made about family members. A rule we should have made but did not was that when you remove a block it has to be at least two layers down. We also practiced a round of each type before we started the game.

The game took a little guidance to make sure that we had a good balance of taking and giving. Eventually as planned the building will crash or look very, very unstable. This is the time to discuss how the building is like a family and when we make negative comments it weakens the entire structure and sometimes while we may not mean to strike a very hurtful blow, we may unintentionally do so. There is no way to know how people "hear" your comments.

Interestingly, in our game, DS2 started using his extra blocks to create a second free-form building. I did not ask him to stop and when we ran short of blocks he did hand over blocks for us to use. Then I had asked him not to cause the building to fall over so that we could talk for a second, he chose to be a little crazy and not only did our building fall but also so did his. This was a fascinating opportunity to correlate his wants and desires to the success of the whole family and how not listening can also affect both. You could see immediately in his face that he saw exactly what we were saying. I tried to my best ability to put the "family" building back together the way it was before it crumbled and then we discussed the concept mentioned above about how we may think our hurtful comments are only minor but can be accepted by the other person as very, very hurtful. We then talked about strengthening the building and filling in the holes with positive comments to create a very strong structure.

I would like to figure out how too play other games like this to work on this skill, but I must say it has had a bit of an effect. It is an area we must continue to work on, but another positive step is taken.

Note: DH and I did this with DS2, I did not have the other kids join in as I think it would be too difficult to control the comments made.

RAD

2010-03-09T05:20:00.000-08:00

No one told me that I’d be sitting in closets or standing on my head

If you were to describe the day to day “job” of being a foster parent, I doubt that you would include “ability to sit in a closet crosslegged” nor “flexibility and strength necessary to do a handstand” and yet in my day to day activities of being a foster mom, I have done both. You are thinking, this woman is a little crazy. She must not know how to be a good foster parent. I wouldn’t need to employ such craziness. But I must tell you that I think it is just this foolishness that allows us to get through everyday. My DS2 has many labels attached to him as a result of the abuse and neglect that he has experienced. One of the labels that he carries represents his distrust of adults, his need for control, and his general defiance. Of course, I ask you after 14 homes, how would you feel? Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) can be very frustrating to deal with, but we have found humor to be a rather effective tool. If I come back at him in an authoritarian fashion, I can pretty much guarantee you a disaster, but if we can laugh, we can usually make some progress. So I’m thinking that instead of having RAD stand for Reactive Attachment Disorder, perhaps we can have it stand for Radical Alternative Displays of Affection. Ok, so I added an extra “A”, but you get the point.

The two specific situations that I mention are just that two of many. I am not recommending specific actions, but just that we think a little outside the box and as traumatically that previous adults have treated our children, lets dramatically show them that we will go to any length for them.

The closet situation evolved when DS2 misbehaved and went to his room for a cool down period. I gave him 5-10 minutes to relax and refocus, but when I went to talk to him at first I could not find him. His room was empty, but I knew he was there. I quickly located him sitting on the floor in his bedroom closet. I will not psychoanalyze to decide if he was there for the comfort of a confined space or if it was a form of control to watch me squirm looking for him; regardless, there he was. When we started to talk, he was as defiant as ever – negating everything I had to say. Then I switched gears and made a comment about getting in the closet. His frown suddenly became a questioning smile, “You wouldn’t come in here. You can’t fit in here.”

“I’ll bet you I can.”

He looked questioningly at me.

“Make room.” It was as if as I got in the closet, all the tension left the room. After he stopped being shocked that I was in the closet with him, we were able to talk about the issue that had landed us in the closet.

The headstand was a visual representation of our ability to choose. DS2 woke up one morning and as I tried to coax him out of bed, he said, “Today is going to be a terrible day anyway.”

Visions of being called by the principal at 9:10 jumped into my head. Some days were difficult enough without him heading in to them in a bad mood. “Remember,” I said. “Our mood is our choice. You can decide to have a bad day or you can decide that you are going to change your mood and have a good day.”

“It’s just a bad day. I’m going to have a bad day.”

I took a breath (a very helpful thing these days), “Come on get up. Shake it out. Do a dance or stand on your head. Do whatever it takes to change your mood.”

“What was the last thing you said?”

“Stand on your head”

“How is standing on your head going to change your mood?”

“Watch!” I promptly got a pillow and stood on my head, lifting my legs up and against the wall.

“That doesn’t count. Your feet are against the wall.” He marveled, but challenged.

I wondered if I could do that. I hadn’t achieved that in many, many years. I tightened my abs, prayed my shirt wasn’t going to go over my head, and pulled my legs from the wall. “Ta da” I got back to my feet. “See it worked,” I winked. “You are smiling.”

I never did get a call from the principal that day and DS2 seemed to have a relatively good day.

Now you may say that these actions are extreme, but I say what has happened to him is extreme and he desearves to know that there are adults that will go to any length to let him know that he is safe and loved. RAD - - - Radical Alternative Displays (of Affection). Instead of getting caught up in their RAD, lets use our RAD.

I would love to hear stories of how others have used crazy ways to get past the frustration of defiant, angry children.

Out Illness

2010-03-07T05:20:00.000-08:00

Do you remember the quote “Out you damn spot” from Lady MacBeth in MacBeth? I am trying to will out a cold and I am thinking that I should wring my lungs out instead of my hands like Lady MacBeth.

I yearn for the days when having a cold meant lying in bed all day and being waited on by mommy. Now I am Mommy and there is too much to be done to lie down. DH has the same problem and this cold has caught us both. We are now verging on three weeks of illness. I am just not accustomed to feeling ill. Usually we just will it gone and it goes, but this one is sticking around.

So, “Out damn illness, Out!”

CMT prep

2010-03-05T05:18:00.000-08:00

At work today, one of the instructors gave out an article called, “CMT Preparations: What’s your School Doing?” The article was written by Laurel Kilough on February 25, 2010 for the Ct Education Association Blog. And while the ideas seemed interesting, fun, and inventive, I was left be thankful that I homeschool my children. (As many of you know we homeschool our two biological children and our foster son attends public school due to legal requirements) For those of you who do not know what CMT’s are, they are the CT Mastery Tests. While the CMT’s are specific to CT, many other states have similar type tests. The article talks about rigorous academic preparation, involving parents, pep rallies, and ideas to enliven the actual days of the test. As I said the article does put out some interesting ideas like poetry contests to encourage students on the CMT’s, sprinkling fairy dust in the form of reading strategies, or giving encouraging notes, but the whole idea left me with a queasy feeling. Why do we have to focus on rigorous academic preparation? Shouldn’t that be the standard? Why do we need to “send a letter home to parents asking them to limit absences and make sure their children get a good night’s sleep and proper nutrition”? Shouldn’t that be a consistent expectation? I cannot even begin to wrap my mind around holding a pep rally to “get ready” for the test. Isn’t the focus a bit array? Shouldn’t we be excited about learning itself and not about proving our knowledge on a test? As for “fairy godmothers”, Captain Writing, raffles, and incentives, I just ask why? Is the way we are teaching so horrible that we must bribe our students to perform?

The last sentence in the article says “What has your school been doing to prepare for the CMT or CAPT?” Fortunately, we are exempt as homeschoolers so I don’t have to answer this seriously, but my answer is learning. We are learning every day. We are learning for the sake of learning and not so that we can spew out our knowledge on a contrived test to be compared to others, but so that we can be engaged citizens, active community members, and generally better individuals. What are we doing to prepare? We are learning, acting, making changes, reviewing, discussing, interacting, discovering, creating and we don’t even need pep rallies, “fairy dust”, or Smarties to make it fun.